I see no volunteers to co-sign on my fears
I'll sign on the line
Alone, you're gonna change my circumstance
I know I need to move right now
'Cause I know it's over
I was born a choker
Nobody's coming for me (Only smoking secondhand)
I know it's over
I was born a choker
Nobody's coming for me
Coming for me
Caleb has my hands pulled behind my back, held in one of his. He is on the phone and I struggle briefly until he squeezes hard and I freeze, unwilling to cry out and give him the satisfaction of dismissing a sudden alarming sound to the person on the other end of the line as something inconsequential.
I could call out. I could cause a huge fuss and everyone would come running and then he would have to explain, he would have to swallow his demon tendencies even as they snake out from his cuffs, darken the white spaces in his eyes and turn his hands to claws that rip against my flesh like thorns against a cotton sundress, pulling you back, keeping you there tangled in something that's bigger than you. You can go later and cut them back and decide that you have disarmed the threat but it grows back. In your mind you know damn well it's going to do so but in the moment you feel as if you have gotten control.
(I don't have control.)
He pulls me backwards as he wraps up his call and pins me against the door, hand around my neck, head bent down so we are eye to eye, only my chin is being forced painfully up and I am up on my toes and maybe not even touching the floorboards anymore. I close my eyes, checking out before he gets to her. I can go anywhere. Behind my eyelids I can fucking fly and yet I always head for the same place, the corner of the cotton candy booth, the shady spot where I can finish my lunch but Lochlan can still keep an eye on me here. His break is still an hour away but I was too hungry. The sun is so warm against my forehead, Caleb's hot breath as he levels threats, promises and God knows what else to an audience of none, as I can't hear him when he whispers and I don't even try anymore.
And then a knock goes through me, from the other side of the door.
I snap back to the cool wood, briefly wondering what's going to happen the first time I don't come back at all.
Yes. Caleb barks the word at the closed door. He's going to open it regardless but he's buying time for composure. He's buying time to get his body under control, willing his predilections to snake back up into his cuffs, tucking back under his collar, horns sinking back into his skull, eyes changing back to bright white and medium blue. It's something to watch, anyway, but I still haven't opened my eyes.
He slides me back down, letting go, frowning at the red handprint around my throat. No time to hide that so he shoves me out of the way as Lochlan opens the door.
I was with you- I tell him, excited that I can still teleport when things get really bad, as he looks to me first.
Ash said he couldn't find you. He finally looks at Caleb. Jesus fucking Christ, Caleb.
Maybe you interrupted something.
Lochlan looks back at me and I shake my head. No, I say but no sound comes out.
Lochlan comes past Caleb, takes my hand, pulls me in against him and takes me out of the room.
Caleb is shouting something and Lochlan ignores him. We go past Asher, who is doing a magnificent job of not being surprised (guess they filled him in completely) and he fills the gap in the hallway, going head to head against Caleb and pointing out he's here to keep an eye on me and Caleb is pointing out no one needs to do that when he is with me and the last thing I hear is Asher disputing that masterfully and then we are outside and the sun is warming my face for real and it wasn't a daydream at all.
(I had told Asher where I would be and dismissed him for some free time of his own. He didn't listen to me and promptly called in my army. Had I known Caleb was going to wake up on the wrong side of the day I never would have gone though so I am grateful for him right off the bat.)