Now that the laptop is fixed (thank you Lochlan!), the ramen cravings have been satisfied, the main floor is vacuumed, laundry, errands, recycling and garbage is caught up, sundry decorations are all put away (trees and lights are still up) and Ruth's room looks more apartment, less bedroom (massive rearranging), I can relax.
Long day that started late and I'm not a huge fan of vacuuming at eight o'clock at night but I had to pull everything out of the front hall closet in order to fit a second shoe rack in there because there are too many shoes and it's getting ridiculous and with boots too for the snow it's beyond unorganized. I didn't realize how much until I got back into the truck to come home from lunch and saw that I had one black and one brown Doc Marten boot on. Oh great. Hope Ruth didn't plan on wearing hers because I have her left. Whoops.
So another rack and everything has a place now, but there was also a months worth of dried leaves in the closet. And a dog gate. And a scooter that's too small for anyone but me to ride and I don't want to ride it. And a baseboard from the castle in the Prairies but don't ask about that. Or maybe I've mentioned it. I don't remember.
Everything has a place now. Even the baseboard.
So I sit down with a drink (vodka and coke. The Russians left a huge bottle of Stoli as part of our gift and it doesn't fit in any cupboards. It's weirdly tall and thin and so we..drank it. Because I'm too classy to leave a bottle of alcohol sitting out or standing in the pantry but I'm not classy enough to save it or give it away.) and guess who comes strolling into the kitchen?
The Devil.
Who immediately decides he doesn't have to abide by the spoken rule that New Years Eve is off limits and invites me to go out with him. On a date. Dressed up. On a borrowed yacht. All the monte cristos and champagne my little busted heart desires. Fireworks. A clear cold night. Cuddles. New resolutions, made on the water I was born on, fused in salt, carved in the stones at the bottom of the sea.
I pick up the bottle and just drink straight from it because that sounds like a GREAT time and frankly I can be bought (but not by the Russians, because I sent back most of their gift to me with a lovely note explaining that I can only wear jewelry if it's from my husband and of course they understand but Fabergé is beautiful indeed and I'm very touched that they thought of me and to take care. In reality I'm peeing myself with fright because they might be offended) but Lochlan can't and his idea of New Years Eve is a roaring fire and snuggles and sleeping early and easily, maybe a whiskey, probably a meat pie and some cake and I'm sure there will be flannel involved and right up until Caleb said Fireworks on the water I thought the flannel + fire would be the best thing ever but..
Wait. It still is. It always will be. I've done both and the fire in the hearth wins every time.
Thank you but as I said I already have plans.
Bring him.
It's not a threesome kind of night. I burst out laughing. God. I'm an asshole.
You could change your plans. Or we could do a bit of both plans.
Caleb-
Just tell me what you want to do.
I did. And I'm sorry but you're not invited. (I'm touched that you thought of me and take care but please oh please don't be offended.) I'll see you later this week maybe. We can do something fun then.
I don't want to be alone. His face. Oh my God, his face. Guilt renders me desperate.
Catch a flight home?
Too late.
See what Ben is up to?
He stares at me.
Batman is watching all the Star Wars. I think a few of the guys are joining him. Beers and pizza. We might even stop in.
I want to ring in the New Year with you. Neamhchiontach. Please.
I'm sorry.
What will it take to change your mind?
I take his hands and he covers mine with his while he waits for me to speak. Nothing. I'm sorry. You agreed readily to the plans we made this holiday and even with regret I'm not changing them. I'm looking forward to a quiet night with Lochlan, I'm in need of sleep and less stress and I'm not going to fight about this. I draw a line in the air with my mind. A very rare and precious boundary. And it holds.
New Years Day. Can I treat you to a late brunch? Like last year? So I can look forward to the morning?
Yes.
Just you.
Sure.
Okay. I'll see you before the evening though so I'm not going to wish you a Happy New Year quite yet.
Of course.
This is Sam's doing? These..boundaries?
August's.
Holding your ground?
Yes. My resolutions are finally set. I'll tell you a few on Monday at brunch.
Can't wait to hear them.
I can't wait to try and make them stick. Hey. Speaking of which, what are yours?
I'll tell you on Monday too. He smiles, just not with his eyes.
I'm not doing anything right now if you want to watch something with me. A movie or something?
I'd like that. His eyes finally smile too. Mind if I pour a drink?
Be my guest.
Long day that started late and I'm not a huge fan of vacuuming at eight o'clock at night but I had to pull everything out of the front hall closet in order to fit a second shoe rack in there because there are too many shoes and it's getting ridiculous and with boots too for the snow it's beyond unorganized. I didn't realize how much until I got back into the truck to come home from lunch and saw that I had one black and one brown Doc Marten boot on. Oh great. Hope Ruth didn't plan on wearing hers because I have her left. Whoops.
So another rack and everything has a place now, but there was also a months worth of dried leaves in the closet. And a dog gate. And a scooter that's too small for anyone but me to ride and I don't want to ride it. And a baseboard from the castle in the Prairies but don't ask about that. Or maybe I've mentioned it. I don't remember.
Everything has a place now. Even the baseboard.
So I sit down with a drink (vodka and coke. The Russians left a huge bottle of Stoli as part of our gift and it doesn't fit in any cupboards. It's weirdly tall and thin and so we..drank it. Because I'm too classy to leave a bottle of alcohol sitting out or standing in the pantry but I'm not classy enough to save it or give it away.) and guess who comes strolling into the kitchen?
The Devil.
Who immediately decides he doesn't have to abide by the spoken rule that New Years Eve is off limits and invites me to go out with him. On a date. Dressed up. On a borrowed yacht. All the monte cristos and champagne my little busted heart desires. Fireworks. A clear cold night. Cuddles. New resolutions, made on the water I was born on, fused in salt, carved in the stones at the bottom of the sea.
I pick up the bottle and just drink straight from it because that sounds like a GREAT time and frankly I can be bought (but not by the Russians, because I sent back most of their gift to me with a lovely note explaining that I can only wear jewelry if it's from my husband and of course they understand but Fabergé is beautiful indeed and I'm very touched that they thought of me and to take care. In reality I'm peeing myself with fright because they might be offended) but Lochlan can't and his idea of New Years Eve is a roaring fire and snuggles and sleeping early and easily, maybe a whiskey, probably a meat pie and some cake and I'm sure there will be flannel involved and right up until Caleb said Fireworks on the water I thought the flannel + fire would be the best thing ever but..
Wait. It still is. It always will be. I've done both and the fire in the hearth wins every time.
Thank you but as I said I already have plans.
Bring him.
It's not a threesome kind of night. I burst out laughing. God. I'm an asshole.
You could change your plans. Or we could do a bit of both plans.
Caleb-
Just tell me what you want to do.
I did. And I'm sorry but you're not invited. (I'm touched that you thought of me and take care but please oh please don't be offended.) I'll see you later this week maybe. We can do something fun then.
I don't want to be alone. His face. Oh my God, his face. Guilt renders me desperate.
Catch a flight home?
Too late.
See what Ben is up to?
He stares at me.
Batman is watching all the Star Wars. I think a few of the guys are joining him. Beers and pizza. We might even stop in.
I want to ring in the New Year with you. Neamhchiontach. Please.
I'm sorry.
What will it take to change your mind?
I take his hands and he covers mine with his while he waits for me to speak. Nothing. I'm sorry. You agreed readily to the plans we made this holiday and even with regret I'm not changing them. I'm looking forward to a quiet night with Lochlan, I'm in need of sleep and less stress and I'm not going to fight about this. I draw a line in the air with my mind. A very rare and precious boundary. And it holds.
New Years Day. Can I treat you to a late brunch? Like last year? So I can look forward to the morning?
Yes.
Just you.
Sure.
Okay. I'll see you before the evening though so I'm not going to wish you a Happy New Year quite yet.
Of course.
This is Sam's doing? These..boundaries?
August's.
Holding your ground?
Yes. My resolutions are finally set. I'll tell you a few on Monday at brunch.
Can't wait to hear them.
I can't wait to try and make them stick. Hey. Speaking of which, what are yours?
I'll tell you on Monday too. He smiles, just not with his eyes.
I'm not doing anything right now if you want to watch something with me. A movie or something?
I'd like that. His eyes finally smile too. Mind if I pour a drink?
Be my guest.