He poured me a stiff drink for breakfast. A Bridget-double, which is one and a half. I drink it like a shot to feel the warmth and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand so that I look tough. I put the glass down on the counter and turn just as he whispers Showtime, baby.
He pushes me backwards without looking, as I stand behind him without anyone realizing I was there, because Lochlan threw his coffee mug overhand at PJ's head upon coming into the kitchen.
Christ, Padraig. Keep your fucking hands to yourself!
Or maybe keep better track of where your wife is, at any given time. PJ reaches back once more, grabs me by the arm and pulls me out beside him. Lochlan turns pale.
At least I can actually protect her. PJ further risks his skin in this game. Besides, she's my ride or die. Better off with me than virtually anyone else on this point.
But Lochlan ignores him. Did I hit you with the mug?
No. I shake my head.
Who's your ride or die, Peanut?
You are.
That's my girl.
She wasn't in any danger with me, but maybe you better talk to Caleb, as she left his place in a hurry and I just ended up being the boomerang.
I know. PJ. Thanks. Lochlan is still looking at me.
And that's how I escape any sort of retribution in this house. They actually thank me. And then I'm dismissed. He winks at me and with a flourish he is gone. Proper thing, too. If he had continued to needle Lochlan, eventually Lochlan would have turned his ire and attention back to PJ and it would have ended with a quiet brawl on the floor in which they really really want to hurt each other but at the same time, they don't and it's difficult and complicated and nevermind because PJ's already gone. I said I'd take the fallout for my actions and I do, right up front.
Caleb wasn't putting me in danger. He made a comment about me being a party favour so I left.
And confirmed his assessment.
Hell yes.
PJ's had a little too much good luck this year, don't you think?
Sure, fine. Next time I'll go to Duncan.
You're angry with me.
I needed you and you disappeared. Again. After you promised you wouldn't. You said you wouldn't break any more promises to me but you weren't there.
I could say the same for you when you promise to stay put and then I end up sleeping alone. Apparently my ride or die is Benjamin!
I open my mouth in horror. TAKE THAT BACK!
STAY THE FUCK PUT!
FINE!
FINE!
He laughs suddenly with tears in his eyes. Jesus, Peanut. If I could pin you to the floor anymore I would. Caleb said you were sleeping. Sam said you were doing fine, every single time I went looking for you everyone assured me I was being a helicopter husband and that you'd be around in a minute but you never showed. I really wish you wouldn't fuck with PJ. It's a conflict of interest. His loyalty is to your well-being, not your flesh.
I've got news for you, then. My laugh is bitter because I know better.
His eyes flashed brightly in warning but in that flash I was gone too.
