Thursday, 20 March 2014

Social monsters.

I was granted a brief Skype-Cough session with Duncan this morning. He said he's doing a lot better, he's settled into a routine now that's working. On days off he plays tourist and visits antique stores. He says he'll be shipping a box of treasures home at the end of the month. He says I should be excited, that he found the creepiest, neatest little things for me and we'll have to figure out how to get around customs because half of it is probably banned for being things like dead creatures, black magic and/or simply offensive, like the vintage band t-shirts he found from a band Ben was in for three whole years but they were three wild, horrific years and so a closeup cartoon rendition of Ben's eye and his middle finger are on every goddamned t-shirt I've ever seen from them.

Ah, but these are different, Duncan says. They're in German!

Ben just rolls his eyes and heads to a meeting. While we were in bed for two days I introduced him to Instagram and he's become an unintentional senior citizen with his use of hashtags now because he missed my explanation on how to use them.

(Neither one of us have Instagram but some of the boys do and we can still look at their pictures. Yes I had one for a while but was convinced to shut it down.)

When I'm done on Skype I check my phone to see what time Ben will be home for lunch and this is what he sends me in lieu of actual words.

#sexbot #imissyou #thoselegs #youhavenoassthough

Hey Benny, just say the words. Those are search terms. They don't work in SMS. 

#sowhat #imcoollikethecoolkids #weshouldmakeasextapewhenyoufeelbetter #pervy #hot #2hot2handle #Bridget #hotwife #mineallmine #Tucker #polyawesome #filthylittlething #thighgap #belieber #lickitup #damniwishIwashomebecausethesetagsaremakingmehungry

Seriously. This is what I live with. 

(See the #belieber in there? He was paying attention. You put that on a picture you get more hits, according to those in the know. I don't know but that is fucking funny.)