Wednesday, 12 March 2014


How blessed are some people, whose lives have no fears, no dreads; to whom sleep is a blessing that comes nightly, and brings nothing but sweet dreams.
~Bram Stoker
The cherry blossom trees started blooming this morning. It was almost an audible pop in the sun.

I was out front, sitting cross-legged in the driveway while Lochlan tossed lit batons over my head, same as always. I was trying to read. My headphones still on, music up loud. If he missed and caught me on fire, I probably would never know it because I don't pay attention to the things I should.

Caleb asked for a pass on my insolent words and his nefarious deeds, half of which he said were preemptive, the other half necessary (bullshit).  He got it of course, because how can anyone resist her? Because how are we all supposed to live normal lives when this tiny giant interrupter flits among us?

(I don't know-

Shhh. Put your headphones back in, sweetheart. The grownups are talking.)

And yet he felt it was fitting to walk me into boardrooms, me in my stilettos with my little head full of market trends and intentions for his ventures because this will become the foundation for something else, and so I was paraded in as a fresh face, as an object.

If the others allow for a little business mixed in with life but no, there won't be any more trips for a little while. No more suitcases and planes and time zones because I don't feel like it. I'm still failing at fighting off this cold. I would have stuck the stilettos in my eyes if anyone would have let me and since March break is coming up I think I'd like to sleep a lot.

Or sleep at all. That would be great too but Caleb feels like I should learn everything I can about managing a private equity firm because he's evil and insane.

Neither, is what he says he is, but simply concerned about the future.

I nod off against my book and flinch awake. Lochlan swears and throws away from us. Then he goes to collect his torches and asks if I fell asleep. I said I did and he tells me March break is coming up and I'll get more sleep then when things are less hectic.

I frown at him because I hate platitudes. Especially ones that clearly aren't true.

He frowns back because he really picked a winner. I'm still furiously annoyed but falling asleep on my feet now instead of on my ass. But then I see the flowers on the trees and I think that means everything will be okay.

It has to be, doesn't it? At some point there has to be a break in the clouds, even if I have to make it myself.