Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Lost in the shadow of an endless grace.

I will fail you, of that I’m sure
I will remind you of the pain forevermore
And when my sins are just a memory
Faith restored
I will fail you to the core
I flew back alone. One person, one plane. The carbon emission people or whoever the energy shamers are will come and get me now. I sat with my hands clenched in my lap and one song on repeat on my headphones as loud as it could possibly go.

I kept my eyes closed and I didn't open them until someone touched my shoulder because we were on the ground. Someone had brought me a cup of tea while I sat with my eyes screwed tightly shut. Wonderful people.  

It's getting harder for me to fly (especially alone) and yet I made it the whole way home without touching the pills. I still intend to poison the Devil and so I will need them all.

He wasn't happy that I left but he didn't stop me either. I had enough and I screamed for my passport while he stood there trying to tell me that he loves me.

He kept repeating it and so I kept asking. I could have gone all night but he gave up first. He's getting old. I am not, forever stuck at twelve because that's what the Devil does, he finds you and keeps you just as you are for all eternity because he doesn't like change.

No one does.