Friday, 17 January 2014

Go spend it in a perfect world.

And as evening draws your self-portrait full of flaws
And laughs the most
Whatever keeps it darkest
This morning Jacob's parents left and I took a really deep breath. August will meet them on the other coast. He left a long time ago, much as I begged him to stay.

Asher is leaving too. February first. He has a job and a shared apartment coming up and he's determined to show me he can manage just fine as long as he can come over once in a while.

I laughed.

(I'll say no later.)

Gage and Keith are both extending their stays. They like it here. Gage has started calling me Mom. I don't like that AT ALL. He's older than I am. Keith is sort of like Skateboard Jesus with his rare appearances and drive-by, bearded wisdom. Maybe he is Skateboard Jesus in metal form. Either way he is a gift.

And Jasper's here! Someone please kill me! Caleb really is retiring so now Batman has paperwork that pertains to Caleb (including all my stuff that I signed that no one thinks is legitimate) and to the company and I'm watching the Devil dismantle things he has built, turning everything into liquid gold and silver, all the while assuring me he kept enough to live comfortably.

Three times he has asked me what I plan to do with my newfound wealth.

The first time I said I was going to buy the Fairmont Pacific Rim. The second time I said I'd buy Tortola. The third time I said I was going to shove it all into a hole and cover it over with cow pies and wait for flowers to grow on top of it and then we would get to see what sort of flowers grow from money and shit.

Roses, Caleb said and he laughed. Like the rainbow ones you love so much. You know...we could pool our resources and become a power couple.

Except we're not a couple.


Wow. Are you drunk?

No, I shouldn't drink anymore, remember? I'm just thrilled that you had a good visit.


I told you. I'm going to fix you.

It's not your place to do so.

No one else has the means.

I do. I have the means now. I'll do it myself!

Jasper saves me from an ungraceful exit as he walks in without knocking, an armload of folders clutched against his chest. He's in a total fucking tizzy being surrounded by so many powerful men. I can see it all over his face.

I used to be that way too. Before they ruined me.