I'm coming up only to hold you underDown, down, down. Calling him. Screaming his name as I slip and stumble down the steps, round the corner and pick up speed racing down the hallway in the dark.
I'm coming up only to show you wrong
And to know you is hard, we wonder
To know you all wrong, we were.
JAKE! JACOB, PLEASE!!!!
I grab the handle and almost pull my arms off since I was halfway past it and I'm yanked to a violent halt. I turn it, breaking the rusted seal, my shoulders aching from the effort and finally it begins to move. The door takes an eternity to open. Forever. Tears are streaming down my face and I squeeze through into the light and fall to the floor underneath the half-open door and I'm sobbing and I see Cole first since he is on the ceiling and I reach up to grab the door and it moves quicker than I can suddenly and I hear the ringing before the heavy iron connects with the side of my skull. Lights out.
When I open my eyes I am still on the floor and Jacob's face is looking into mine. Cole is on the ground now too, slightly removed from us but still very much touchable from here. Concerned. As he should be. Thanks to my years with him I've discovered it's very incredibly easy to knock myself out now. You would know that, it's a feature of hockey players and battered wives.
What's happened?
I don't know what to do. He won't stop.
Ben? (Cole says it with a smirk. Just rewards for breaking his heart.)
Your brother.
The smirk disappears. Jake frowns too.
What did he do?
He keeps asking for me. Every single day. He won't stop.
Ben won't let him near you?
No.
Good. But I don't like his reaction.
Did he pay you?
I don't think I know how to fix this, princess.
Did he pay you, Jacob?
This is a job for the living.
Cole howls with laughter. Sarcasm disguised as mirth.
DID HE PAY YOU?
Jacob stands up and pulls me to my feet. I'm dizzy but I don't care. He walks away until the shadows close around him and I can't see him anymore.
You son of a bitch. You left for money.
I DIDN'T LEAVE FOR MONEY, BRIDGET! I DIDN'T TAKE THE MONEY!
Then why did you leave me!
I can't talk about this anymore.
What else do you have to do, Jake? You have plans? What the fuck? Talk to me! Come back here so I can see you!
But he doesn't. Instead Cole walks into the light, right past me, to the door and he looks out into the hall and he turns back and considers his thoughts for a moment. His face is perfectly lined, his hair glossy-bright chocolate in the light. I never get used to seeing him without his glasses and I wonder if when I die I'll be able to hear everything again.
You should go back now, Bridget.
I don't know what to do about Caleb though.
You shouldn't have let him back into your life, baby. You don't know how HARD I worked to keep him out of it. And you just let him right back in the second I was gone. None of them stand a chance. He'll ruin everyone and everything to get to you, don't you GET THAT?
He is screaming at me and I haven't flinched yet. There is no fear in heaven I guess. Oh, please, please let me be dead, this is so lovely.
Are you going to help me or not?
There's nothing I can do.
There has to be some way to end this.
Sure there is, baby and you know what it is.
I do?
Death.
I have to kill him?
Let me put it to you this way. There are two ways to get Caleb out of your life. One way is for him to die. The other is for you to.
Jesus, Cole, stop it.
Hey, I tried to kill you to save you from him.
I hope you rot down here.
I'll bring the golden boy with me into that adventure, baby. See you soon.
Fuck you.
He leered in close and I could see the empty black holes inside of those glorious dark blue eyes and I finally felt a shiver of dread. It was gone before I could use it up and wish for more.
That will be the first order of business when you get here. For old times' sake.
All around me the unholy squeals and yells of protest began again and the wind picked up and the chaos began. Everything was moving and screaming and I put my hands up over my ears and I closed my eyes and I knelt down on the cold stone floor and tucked my arms up around my head and I waited. I could feel movement in the air all around me but I waited, still and quiet and finally when there was no more noise I brought my arms down and I opened my eyes.
Nothing.
Jake?
No answer.
Cole?
Nothing. I look up and the door is wide open.
I took the clue and I went through it and I ran, just as fast as I did to get down there. Back down the hallway into the light then plunged into the dark again and then I grabbed the railing for the staircase and hit the first step and bounced off Satan, who was sitting there with his head in his hands. Waiting. Maybe sleeping. I hit the ground, landing hard on my back and I pulled myself back up and stood before him but he didn't move. He didn't acknowledge me and I waited and I did not run even though every nerve in my body was on fire to flee. I just stood there with my arms down at my sides, hands clenched into shaking fists, expressionless for all of my terrified curiosity.
Finally he stood up. We are seven inches apart.
I'm breathing through my nose and my air is his exhalation. My entire body is wound tight, like the strings on Ben's guitar. This is the very last place I ever want to be with Caleb. He doesn't deserve to get the chance to talk to his brother or be in the presence of my Jacob. He doesn't get the comfort. He isn't allowed here in my head. Ever ever ever. Go away Caleb. I don't want you here. And still I did nothing.
You don't have to be afraid of me, Bridget.
He whispers it as his arms come up and I go into them.
We've had some amazing experiences together. Haven't we?
I am silent. I do absolutely nothing except hold on to him, my arms tight around his neck. I've gotten good at going somewhere else and that's why he shouldn't be here. This is not his place, this is my safe place. Go away. Go away. Go away.
You don't have to be afraid of me.
He repeats himself and this time he sounds different. I pull away to look at him and he is twenty years old again and I am suddenly screaming like I did the night when I was twelve.
But Lochlan didn't save me then and he's not going to save me tonight. I have to do everything myself.