Sunrise 8:03, Sunset 4:29 and just like that in less than a week we've gained almost ten whole minutes more of daylight. Wake me up when it's 6:00 and 8:30 if you please, I am hibernating with the winter animals, but not here because it's never cold enough, even though it was cold enough that with the frost this morning and the freezing rain last night I walked outside, gingerly made my way down the slippery back steps only to promptly wipe out at the bottom on the wooden deck, as if I have ventured into the new and surprisingly difficult career of slapstick comedy.
I've done a little charming clowning in my day, let me tell you but I was never good enough, nor was Lochlan confident enough for me to engage in anything truly dangerous on my tightrope. We left that to the stronger older men with solid life insurance policies. What did we know? We were two broke kids on the run.
I still value my bones, Lochlan still blamed himself for me falling (I shouldn't have let you come outside) and I still miss the complicated and absolutely simple life we had in the show. Times have changed. Now I yell at Google to do stupid shit like read me the weather or turn on various lights and music around the house, I miss my kids like a deep ache that's a whole different kind of grief (they're here, they're just grown up and I can't park them in front of a Pixar movie with grilled cheese sandwiches and just admire them anymore, well maybe I could- I'll have to ask) and the bills always grow. We are prudent with money, don't get me wrong. It's nice not to have to be so hungry that I resort to stealing but it would also be nice if utilities and phone bills and grocery costs stop rising for everyone, wouldn't it?
In any case I've been ushered back inside with my wounded pride bruised and humiliated (the boys never fall, slip or are otherwise unsteady except for Ben and even he could manage the stupid icy patio) and am now safely in my brightly lit kitchen sipping hot chocolate and eating oatmeal with a sprinkle of cinnamon sugar on top. I think today will be even slower than usual and I say that as someone who woke up on Monday with the full-on flu, throwing up and chills and general pain that sent me back to bed. I never had a very strong constitution even though I'm sturdy and energetic. I get sick a lot.
I will be wearing masks for the remainder of my life again in public, mostly for germs but also conveniently so no one sees me fall and knows its me. The subsequent sympathy is exhausting.
I'm fine.