Choose your words
Choose them wise
For they will lead to your demise
Take my life
Take my faith
To stop the tears that run down your face
If there was any doubt about who runs the world here, I can put that to rest today, having campaigned for (and won) Gage's return.
Gage who has a very stable, quiet life here on Point Perdition and made a terrible mistake, but a mistake nonetheless. He was sober, he was vindicated by the security camera happily charging away on the kitchen counter (aimed squarely at the table where he clearly asks me several questions), he wasn't setting out to take anything, to exact payback or to quell some uncontrollable urge and he has no history of violence in his life. Even as kids when he and Schuyler fought, Schuyler would swing for the rafters and Gage would block but never return the favor. Ever. This much we knew before. This was one of the reasons he was an easy fit, always. He's passive.
(He's not fucking crazy like the rest of us.)
He gets no fault for being awkward either. His apology, made to the entire point two days ago sans children, and the fact that he is blood, coupled with his incredible and swift horror at what happened when I turned around all gave me enough data points to present a convincing argument to not banish him.
And it worked. We're going to stay together as a family because we are a family, and if there was any doubt that he is part of the Collective it's been answered now. Answered by the concerted pool of tears that began as a pond and grew to an ocean until we were all treading water, loathe to let each other go.
But of course I'll be avoiding him for the time being. I am angry and surprised, still. Shock takes a while to wear off. I am disappointed he didn't try to make it about us, leaving it about him, and I'm horribly stunned at the thought that I was fine with it, because I thought it was Caleb being angry and I know that's the worst part of all. Caleb's bottomless, misdirected and unpredictable rage, his treatment of me, both physically and emotionally becoming accepted practice in our relationship, in our lives, while Lochlan has fought it every step of the way, hating our relationship but leaving it in deference to my naive, selfish wishes and blinded wiles.
I should listen to him but as an adult I always feel like I should use my newfound power to defy him constantly, because I can.
Lochlan is crushed but he forgave Gage. He did not, however, forgive Caleb. I doubt he ever will.