I had a rare date planned with Sam this morning and almost flaked on him wholly. He suggested we have an early sauna talk and then a quick swim. It's been eight degrees and threatening rain for days so of course I said sure.
Then this morning I stalled until I knew he would be there and have already fired the sauna up until it's so warm I want to throw up. Getting there, however, was still difficult because I put on my bikini and the usual routine is to just stroll over but I'm not strolling in a bikini when it's eight degrees so I grabbed a wrap from the hooks by the patio doors. It's a mess of random life jackets, pool noodles, flannel shirts, someone's hoodie who doesn't live here (probably one of Henry's friends) and gardening tools. Plus a very expensive pashmina from Italy for chilly nights on the patio.
I frown at it. It's beautiful but it's not a pool wrap and unless I can put it on over my whole body forget it. I briefly contemplate making it into a pair of footie pajamas, which would be far more practical-
But there's no time. Sam is waiting for me.
My next thought is I will wear the inflatable T-Rex costume. Those are super-hot inside. But what a pain. (Though it would have been so funny to run across the lawn and jump into the sauna door in that, let me tell you. Always good for a laugh.)
So I trudged back upstairs and put on all of my clothes. Two sweaters. Lined jeans. Socks. Fuck it. Going in warm. Lochlan looks at me with half an eye open.
Cancelled? He mumbles. Comebacktobedmmm.
What? I say. At least that's what I think I heard. But he doesn't answer, he's out and I head back downstairs, throw on sneakers and head across the wet grass. Now my feet are wet and my hands are freezing. I get to the sauna and Sam is sitting inside like a vertical lobster, broiling himself silly. He looks so happy.
Purging evil? I laugh as I strip outside the door, leaving clothes all over the wet grass.
It's seeping out through every pore. He grins. Going snowshoeing after this?
If this cold brings snow then yes. I join him on the bench and we have a de facto therapy session, which involves him asking pointed questions, me telling lies and then finally changing the subject before he can call me out on them to being newlyweds and how everything is going.
Great, if you consider the fact that I got up at the crack of dawn to make some time to minister to you, pulling myself out of a warm bed containing my sexy husband to sit in a suffocatingly hot room and listen to you spin your yarns at me like I just fell out of the sky yesterday and don't even know you at all. Insulted is what I am right now.
I get up. About to slam some doors and break some hearts but the heat has sucked all the snot out of me. Fine. I am defeated. Let's go swim so you can at least be insulted from the deep end of the pool. And just so you know, Jesus would have let me off the hook minutes ago.
He bursts out laughing. Not in that bathing suit. Jesus would have burst into flames.