Cause IOne of my more fun Bridget Can't Do Self-Care routines involves singing all the Disney songs at top volume around the house all day. I warm up with tunes from The Little Mermaid and Moana, then move on to Coco, then Beauty and the Beast, back around with with Aladdin and eventually I'll devolve into Frozen because why not?
I cannot start to crumble
So come on and try
Try to shut me and cut me down
I won't be silenced
You can't keep me quiet
Won't tremble when you try it
All I know is I won't go speechless
Speechless
I don't really like Disney movies per se but I've seen everything because kids. Kids make you watch it all.
I love musicals though. That much I don't have to say again.
I got a Ben-Day as a bonus today. Ben won't sing along with me and asks me to stop while laughing. Lochlan never asks me to stop, never ever but Ben has had enough half a song in.
Ben is here because he doesn't feel comfortable leaving me to the wolves if half of them are Russian and so he's handed Duncan off to August and Sam (or as I like to call them, The Holy Triad of Hotness) (Shhhhhhhhh) and he's presented himself to me, not needing a deadline to return to work for once.
He smiles at me as he tells me this and I am rapt, crushed by the weight of his easy charm, and how different he is from Lochlan. Ben is my giant frat-boy, my Everything-Will-Be-Okay, he's...
He's what Lochlan used to be before the weight of a different kind crushed everything. It wasn't charm, it was fear. It was regret and damage and defeat.
Ben brings back the weightlessness of Life Before. Lochlan has device-handoff in Ben, who brings us back around to being out from the weight. He's a beautiful departure from everything and God, I love him so, in a way I don't love anyone else.
What do you want for lunch?
That's a silly question.
Is it? He grins salaciously.
It totally is!
Huh. We should go find your husband and bring him with us.
Yes. Wait. Where? Where are we going?
Upstairs. For lunch. Go get him, Bee.
Okay. I run off across the lawn to find Lochlan who is wrenching through his quarantine and likes to do as much as he possibly can before asking for help but most of the time when I go looking for him he's juggling tools and singing. It's kind of ridiculous. We're meant for greater things than entertaining the boys of Point Perdition, I swear.
I run right into him and almost get stabbed by a Robertson. Or maybe it's a Phillips. Maybe it's a Hex, like me.
Jesus, Peanut. Be careful. Such a dad. Christ. This makes my brain hurt.
Got a second?
For you, always. Now he sounds like Ben.
Come inside?
Sure.
I have a surprise for you.
Is it a Ben?
Maybe!
Awesome. Oh, my heart. He missed him too.