What happened to us
I heard that it's me we should blame
What happened to us
Why didn't you stop me from turning out this way
And know that I don't hate you
And know that I don't want to fight you
And know that I'll always love you
But right now I just don't
Champagne bottle in one hand, other arm outstretched for balance, I am reliving my dreams walking the tightropes of saltwater-soaked logs on the beach while he watches from right out on the point where the tide threatens to touch his bare feet.
The bottle is heavy and I'm drunk at five am, off-balance and ready to be applauded by the sun as it crests the mountains, picking up speed on its plan to illuminate my heart.
I take another drink because fuck it, if the bottle is lighter I can stay up here longer and Jesus, I miss my life. I miss sleeping until noon, stealing food and charming the lost souls that came looking for entertainment, not even realizing that we were about to grift them for every spare dollar they could find.
I close my eyes and the room goes dark, the crowd noise fading away as I focus on Lochlan's voice.
Until he starts yelling.
I open my eyes and he's halfway down the steps, hollering about something, but probably about the fact that the sea stacked these logs on my behalf and they're not safe.
Caleb turns around and tells me to continue, that Lochlan's going to pin every last wrong of the world on him and really we can choose to cower at the sound of his anger or we can live free. He's fifty-seven today and this is our third bottle of Good Birthday Champagne because?
We can, he says and laughs, stepping backwards into the surf and soaking the legs of his jeans.
Wow, I might not be the only one drunk down here. Cool.
Lochlan takes the other end of the log, crossing to me in seconds. He takes and tosses the bottle at Caleb (not overhand but I bet he thought about it), grabbing my hand in a death grip and then his weight shifts what was a perfect good challenge and the whole thing begins to slide sideways. He pulls me with him and we're off the end and back on the rocks just as the logs collapse back into the water. Had I remained where I was I would have been crushed or drowned. Had he not added his weight to an untested wire there wouldn't have been any danger to begin with but if there's blame to place Lochlan's going to bury you in it. He has no room for semantics, he's as black and white as Jake used to be.
Wait, he's the original and maybe Jake was a lot like Lochlan and Lochlan wasn't there anymore and maybe that's how I got sucked in, like I would have gotten sucked into the sea under the logs as they shifted, throwing my whole routine. The sea lions don't mind, but they're not paying for entry either so I don't put any stock in that.
As always. Go for the marks, he said and I did and now he's mad.
The bottle is heavy and I'm drunk at five am, off-balance and ready to be applauded by the sun as it crests the mountains, picking up speed on its plan to illuminate my heart.
I take another drink because fuck it, if the bottle is lighter I can stay up here longer and Jesus, I miss my life. I miss sleeping until noon, stealing food and charming the lost souls that came looking for entertainment, not even realizing that we were about to grift them for every spare dollar they could find.
I close my eyes and the room goes dark, the crowd noise fading away as I focus on Lochlan's voice.
Until he starts yelling.
I open my eyes and he's halfway down the steps, hollering about something, but probably about the fact that the sea stacked these logs on my behalf and they're not safe.
Caleb turns around and tells me to continue, that Lochlan's going to pin every last wrong of the world on him and really we can choose to cower at the sound of his anger or we can live free. He's fifty-seven today and this is our third bottle of Good Birthday Champagne because?
We can, he says and laughs, stepping backwards into the surf and soaking the legs of his jeans.
Wow, I might not be the only one drunk down here. Cool.
Lochlan takes the other end of the log, crossing to me in seconds. He takes and tosses the bottle at Caleb (not overhand but I bet he thought about it), grabbing my hand in a death grip and then his weight shifts what was a perfect good challenge and the whole thing begins to slide sideways. He pulls me with him and we're off the end and back on the rocks just as the logs collapse back into the water. Had I remained where I was I would have been crushed or drowned. Had he not added his weight to an untested wire there wouldn't have been any danger to begin with but if there's blame to place Lochlan's going to bury you in it. He has no room for semantics, he's as black and white as Jake used to be.
Wait, he's the original and maybe Jake was a lot like Lochlan and Lochlan wasn't there anymore and maybe that's how I got sucked in, like I would have gotten sucked into the sea under the logs as they shifted, throwing my whole routine. The sea lions don't mind, but they're not paying for entry either so I don't put any stock in that.
As always. Go for the marks, he said and I did and now he's mad.