I woke up hoping for a miracle but prepared for a lot of work. Easter is busy, but April Fools is busier. I was pouring coffee and passing out waffles to a lot of not-ready-for-church goers when someone pointed out a PWC was coming in from somewhere, to our docks.
We all went outside and there was the big bunny, in an ill-fitting new suit, with a wetsuit underneath and a backpack. It was one of our waverunners, and now I need another bunny head, since this one isn't going to survive the spray. I just replaced it last year in time for Batman's turn too. They're very expensive.
The bunny charged up the stairs, breaking into various boys' signature runs to keep us guessing as we did random head counts and tried to figure out who it was. Who was missing. Who's turn it was.
Once the bunny got close enough he began to drill eggs at the boys. Underhand, overhand, he passed a few out gently, he left a few on the steps. He dropped the backpack and came to me, dipping me backwards, low, before leaving me upright with a big foil-wrapped chocolate egg in my hands and he took off up the driveway, never to be seen again.
We collected the eggs that weren't handed specifically to a person and piled back inside to finish breakfast. No one could figure out by the body type or walk who it was. Maybe Batman again? Maybe we hired an outside performer? Where is Loch, oh, no, there he is. No, the bunny was too tall anyway to be Loch, that's for certain.
They were all still marvelling as they went to get ready for church, and it wasn't until they went to put their wallets and phones in pockets that they realized everything was filled with glitter. Soft glitter. Undangerous glitter I now buy in buckets. Shirt pockets, breast pockets. Watch pockets. Everything is full.
We get to church and Sam is already there, trying to shop-vac glitter off himself in time for early resurrection rained-in service. The most sombre and exciting of all. I always hope it will be Jake but I've learned to eat that anticipation so that I don't disappoint his friends when it isn't. Maybe today will be different. What an ultimate, cruel April Fools joke that would be. He would win everything.
But he didn't come back so we group ourselves around the collection plate when it comes down our row and fill it with eggs, and since it's full, PJ returns it to the front, leaving it on the table, fetching a new one to pass to the row behind us.
Sam is wrapping up his service when the first chick hatches, a fuzzy little wobbly-damp orange blob in the collection plate. Then they all do over the next fifteen minutes and Sam is overrun with sleepy new baby chicks that we quickly help him scoop up to put in a large box.
He grins from ear to ear as he tells the congregation to have peaceful easters (knowing ours won't be) and that God loves them.
We were home and having second coffee, kids were finally up (they don't go to church much) and telling them of our exciting morning as several of the boys did house checks to figure out who the heck the bunny was.
They couldn't tell for certain but Andrew came in as the biggest contender. Right size, and hasn't been the bunny in a very long time. But until he confirms or denies we have to wait.
Sam finally gets in, the box of chicks taken happily back by a nearby hobby farm up the other side of the cove who I've been working with to find timely eggs. Sam is still covered with glitter mostly, complaining that it made him look like he just rolled in from a bar or something and put on a suit and went straight to church but I said it made him look like a Twilight vampire instead and he laughed for so long he was no longer annoyed.
When, over brunch the boys came to the conclusion finally that I must have hired someone to be the bunny this year I finally spilled the jellybeans, even as we were interrupted by PJ pouring juice and swearing that there was glitter in fucking EVERYTHING here, (which makes me so fucking happy actually but don't worry, in the food it's food-grade cake glitter, just enough to make its presence known, not enough to change the taste of anything. Much.)
It was someone who lives here. It was one of us.
Everyone's accounted for! Someone's lying! Where was August when the bunny hit the grass? Maybe it was more than one person? The questions rose up and I started to laugh. Been waiting forever to pull this one off.
I can't believe we fooled you-
TELL US!
Henry stands up and waves, and I hold out my arms to indicate him and bow, for this was the best April Fools ever. And possibly the sweetest, because for the first time they saw him as one of the brothers, and not as a child. He really isn't a child anymore. He's bigger than half of them and now they see he's faster too.
We all went outside and there was the big bunny, in an ill-fitting new suit, with a wetsuit underneath and a backpack. It was one of our waverunners, and now I need another bunny head, since this one isn't going to survive the spray. I just replaced it last year in time for Batman's turn too. They're very expensive.
The bunny charged up the stairs, breaking into various boys' signature runs to keep us guessing as we did random head counts and tried to figure out who it was. Who was missing. Who's turn it was.
Once the bunny got close enough he began to drill eggs at the boys. Underhand, overhand, he passed a few out gently, he left a few on the steps. He dropped the backpack and came to me, dipping me backwards, low, before leaving me upright with a big foil-wrapped chocolate egg in my hands and he took off up the driveway, never to be seen again.
We collected the eggs that weren't handed specifically to a person and piled back inside to finish breakfast. No one could figure out by the body type or walk who it was. Maybe Batman again? Maybe we hired an outside performer? Where is Loch, oh, no, there he is. No, the bunny was too tall anyway to be Loch, that's for certain.
They were all still marvelling as they went to get ready for church, and it wasn't until they went to put their wallets and phones in pockets that they realized everything was filled with glitter. Soft glitter. Undangerous glitter I now buy in buckets. Shirt pockets, breast pockets. Watch pockets. Everything is full.
We get to church and Sam is already there, trying to shop-vac glitter off himself in time for early resurrection rained-in service. The most sombre and exciting of all. I always hope it will be Jake but I've learned to eat that anticipation so that I don't disappoint his friends when it isn't. Maybe today will be different. What an ultimate, cruel April Fools joke that would be. He would win everything.
But he didn't come back so we group ourselves around the collection plate when it comes down our row and fill it with eggs, and since it's full, PJ returns it to the front, leaving it on the table, fetching a new one to pass to the row behind us.
Sam is wrapping up his service when the first chick hatches, a fuzzy little wobbly-damp orange blob in the collection plate. Then they all do over the next fifteen minutes and Sam is overrun with sleepy new baby chicks that we quickly help him scoop up to put in a large box.
He grins from ear to ear as he tells the congregation to have peaceful easters (knowing ours won't be) and that God loves them.
We were home and having second coffee, kids were finally up (they don't go to church much) and telling them of our exciting morning as several of the boys did house checks to figure out who the heck the bunny was.
They couldn't tell for certain but Andrew came in as the biggest contender. Right size, and hasn't been the bunny in a very long time. But until he confirms or denies we have to wait.
Sam finally gets in, the box of chicks taken happily back by a nearby hobby farm up the other side of the cove who I've been working with to find timely eggs. Sam is still covered with glitter mostly, complaining that it made him look like he just rolled in from a bar or something and put on a suit and went straight to church but I said it made him look like a Twilight vampire instead and he laughed for so long he was no longer annoyed.
When, over brunch the boys came to the conclusion finally that I must have hired someone to be the bunny this year I finally spilled the jellybeans, even as we were interrupted by PJ pouring juice and swearing that there was glitter in fucking EVERYTHING here, (which makes me so fucking happy actually but don't worry, in the food it's food-grade cake glitter, just enough to make its presence known, not enough to change the taste of anything. Much.)
It was someone who lives here. It was one of us.
Everyone's accounted for! Someone's lying! Where was August when the bunny hit the grass? Maybe it was more than one person? The questions rose up and I started to laugh. Been waiting forever to pull this one off.
I can't believe we fooled you-
TELL US!
Henry stands up and waves, and I hold out my arms to indicate him and bow, for this was the best April Fools ever. And possibly the sweetest, because for the first time they saw him as one of the brothers, and not as a child. He really isn't a child anymore. He's bigger than half of them and now they see he's faster too.