Just because PJ still dares me to try this stuff years later and with a cash offer if I can pull it off, why wouldn't I? Besides, he'll never know what's true or false (hint: it's all true).
(I started this post in 2005 and some of it might seem off because I've moved a bit, changed a bit. You know.)
(I started this post in 2005 and some of it might seem off because I've moved a bit, changed a bit. You know.)
- I hate crepes. They seem like thin soggy pancakes to me. Pancake-fails. So people dress them up and call it 'dessert'. No thank you.
- I had the lyrics to Still Remains by Stone Temple Pilots tattooed in the center of a large cameo on my back. I had them removed (mostly) a few years back The cameo is all but empty now and I don't know what to do there. I have my wings above it now and I just don't feel like getting any more tattoos.
- I am addicted to affection, lip gloss and security. Blame Lochlan for all of it.
- I'm allergic to food coloring and the sun, sunscreen, nail polish, fabric softener, shellfish, hair color and everything from LUSH, suddenly. Boo. Also cats I don't know well and my own sweat. Go figure.
- I don't like shrimp, or fish with bones. Not big on clams but I do love biting the legs off tiny little deep fried octopi. Oysters aren't great either.
- I grow sunflowers but the sun is a rarity and it's tough.
- I actually don't like it here very much. Sure it's pretty. Well, some of it is.
- The things I miss the most about home (Nova Scotia) are the people, the donairs and oceans without tankers.
- I still consider myself the world's most fragile mermaid. Not a great swimmer.
- I love to paint skulls. LOVE IT. Have dozens of them up now.
- One of my monikers in the freakshow was Firebaby. There. Google that. No, wait, don't. Actually it's fine. Thank God for life before Internet.
- I was a vegetarian for over twenty years but it's only been the past few that I can actually take a bite of a chicken wing without putting it on a plate and pulling the bones out first.
- I love turnip. Mashed turnip with real butter and salt.
- I think I'm crazy but certain things keep me grounded enough to deal with life without flying right off or curling up like a Swedish fish: writing, running, sex, sleep and bourbon.
- I'm afraid of bicycles, blooming teas, undomesticated electricity and revolving doors. Escalators, elevators and morgues.
- Sometimes I'm afraid of Christian but only because it's sort of like being accepted by the cool kid and then wondering when they're going to drop you. I don't get it, he doesn't either.
- I steal Daniel's shirts and then lie and blame it on Schuyler/John/Andrew, insisting they must be in the wash/wrong closet when they're in my bed. I like to sleep in them. They're warm and not as big as the others.
- I've grown so comfortable with black bears that when I see one I take out my phone and try and capture it's soul with the camera. Then I just shoo it away.
- I hate shoes. Jake, you were right.
- I'm a raging minimalist, except for handbags and bracelets.
- I don't actually wear a lot of jewelry considering how much I have.
- I forgot to empty the steam cleaner last month and OH MY FUCK. GROSS.
- I have to have knee surgery.
- I had adenoid surgery once.
- Caleb has offered me plastic surgery. Whatever I want. I know what he would choose to have done on me but it varies wildly with what I would chose.
- I have never and would never actually have plastic surgery.
- Batman's really freaking famous. People scream out loud when they recognize him.
- Ben is not so famous unless he's in his stage clothes. Surprise. You wouldn't actually recognize him unless you're a superfan or a stalker. No, he's not in Gwar.
- Loch actually had groupies at one point. They were the other people who worked the show though. Everyone loves him.
- We once stole the whole cash box and ran.
- We once slept outside on a hillside in Romania because we couldn't afford a room. With goats.
- I used to fear being killed by gypsies. Or goats.
- I sleep with my doors locked now but my windows open.
- I'm astounded that you can't buy actual Marshmallow Fluff countrywide.
- I can't each as much candy as I used to be able to because I get canker sores in my mouth when I do.
- I slept with PJ. A few times now. He's quite a powerhouse of a guy.
- I refused drugs for the first ten hours of labor with Ruth. On Labour Day. Thirty-seven hours from water breaking to the emergency c-section. Fun times. A week in the NICU.
- I used to figure skate competitively in regional competitions.
- Batman had a painting of me hanging in his public office. He would tell people it's his late wife.
- Once I got so scared of the dark that I just closed my eyes and cried until Lochlan came back. I was eleven. Then I did it again when I was thirty-eight.
- I'm a damned good aerialist.
- I'm a better freak.
- My hearing aids are amazing but I'm still overwhelmed by things like clocks and wind in the trees.
- I think every 'caught on tape' is a staged prank but believe every conspiracy theory around.
- I love scarves. Big pashminas. They make me happy. Over the years they have doubled as blankets, tablecloths, bags, legwarmers and truck bed liners.
- I put honey on my toast. Raised by hobbyist beekeepers.
- I still can't drink from a can and never finish a can of pop. The metal makes my teeth hurt.
- I sneezed in the middle of a video shoot once for a band during A Very Big Scene which involved traffic and angel wings and pyrotechnics. That sneeze cost twelve thousand dollars. They had to start over.
- I can't sit in the back seat of a moving vehicle or I throw up within eight minutes flat.
- My makeup routine has been condensed to mascara and lipgloss and nothing else. Fuck it. I'm done with most of that crap. Strangely enough my Sephora VIP Rouge membership is good through like 2028 thanks to the boys with long hair and all the spendy hair products and man perfumes I buy them.
- I spend the odd weekend with Schuyler and Daniel. We don't get out of bed. I get hooked on things like Spanish General Hospital reruns and chai tea.
- I eat ringalos by loading them on my fingers until I look like the Thing from Fantastic Four and then I gnaw them off my knuckles one by one.
- I eat onion rings the same way. It's messier though.
- I have no patience for shitty music production.
- I have a tiny Pandora bracelet addiction that took over from the Cartier bracelet one. I've been collecting charms for almost four years. I have dozens.
- Every professional photograph of me ever produced (except for the ones Cole took) has been missing the checkmark scar under my nose that some kind editor has airbrushed out. I send them back to have it returned to me.
- I'm slow to warm up. Case in point, I resisted Cormac McCarthy's writings for the first several decades of my life and now I can't get enough.
- Batman was the first sugar daddy and the most consistent. A long time ago he hired Cole to do some work for him and asked for me as well. It was a hell of a lot of money involved. We kept it pretty quiet.
- My favorite season would be thought to be summer, with its promise of no school, lax rules and warm weather but instead it's fall because everyone always disappeared from the beach and it became all mine again.
- I use three emojis virtually all of the time. The monkeys. The see no evil, speak no evil and hear no evil ones on the apple keyboard.
- I used to wear earplugs to listen to Ben's former band. Not to protect what's left of my hearing but because otherwise I would visibly flinch. They're very loud.
- When I get up I turn on the stove first to boil water for coffee. Then I let the dog out.
- If a horror movie takes place in the woods then I want to see it.
- I will watch any horror movie though. Even bad ones.
- My fetishes included being held down/up and hockey players in their arrival suits.
- When I go into a really fancy restaurant I still wonder if I'm supposed to work to impress the staff and fear they might reject me as a customer because it's for adults only.
- Morphine has no effect on me whatsoever. Ditto valium. Disco drugs work well though.
- I'm a narcoleptic. Hi!
- If I'm awake after ten at night it's usually a special occasion.
- I don't like mint anything. Even toothpaste.
- I really really tremendously dislike the song Fairytale of New York. Someone told me if you're of Irish descent and you love Christmas it's a given. Well it's not.
- Don't ask me about hard drugs.
- If you say 'tats' or 'ink' with regards to tattoos I'll probably roll my eyes and correct you.
- I let my children swear. Always have. I know. Horrible mother, right?
- I still can't pronounce 'library' without pausing to think it through. My mouth says liberry and then just keeps on running.
- I'm allergic to Costco. No, really, I'm sure I am. I hate it. I hate crowds. I hate bulk purchasing. I hate the very idea of the place and I had a membership once. I hated it.
- I have a perpetual headache and a lovely frown line that runs directly between my eyebrows because when I'm not grinning or crying I frown like the dickens.
- I can do the entire Thriller dance. Yes, still.
- I would have been a Juggalette, but I'm not and I wasn't and camping at music festivals isn't my thing.
- I can eat about eighteen thousand grapes in one sitting. Ditto McDonalds french fries. Ditto licorice. Ditto Pixy Stix. Scallops. Glasses of bourbon. I'm like a bird with rice at a wedding. You never know, I might explode.
- I wish I had blue eyes. Always have. As much as I love my greens, I wanted blue. The grass is always greener, isn't it? Or in this case, bluer.
- I love the smell of hospitals, bandaids, iodine, gasoline, grass, peat and yeast. I don't know if there's a word for that. Gross, maybe?
- I will never visit the Canadian territories thanks to 30 Days of Night. I think it was filmed in Winnipeg though. I'll check and get back to you.
- Mosh pits make me jealous. They look like SO MUCH FUN but then violence and shoving.
- I want to crowd surf but then I'll probably get molested and raped. What if I wore an inflatable sumo-suit? That's my answer for everything now.
- I'm suddenly very concerned about what tapioca pearls are made of because no one has given me a straight answer so I figure it's cadmium and/or lead.
- My favorite bowling ball is a big-ass size '12er with three holes. I can barely lift it but it does a very good job and rolls very slowly without a twist or a slice. My bowling score remains under forty. No worries, it's even lower if I use a ball for someone my size.
- I read four books a year. I love books. I love reading. It's fantastic but I just have to touch the cover and I fall asleep. I think books are like some sort of Pavlov's Dog experiment for me. Ditto buying movie tickets now. I pay twelve bucks for a nap.
- August had me hooked on Kombucha. It's 16 grams of sugar and it has a host or a mother or something floating at the bottom. I didn't understand but it's like a spicy vitamin water only fancier and way more expensive.
- If I could only have one food on a desert island it would be Keema Naan. At least this week it would. Next week it will probably been something else. (Because bird.) (POOF.)
- I want to spray-paint a freight train.
- I used to be a Suicide Girl. Now I hate at least eighty percent of my tattoos.
- Glitter is a huge part of my life. It's a decoration, a beauty routine, a sport, a prank and a weapon all rolled into one. Usually it's food-grade around here, just for safety's sake.
- I would be a greater minimalist, miser, squeezer of coins if only they would let me.
- I don't like owning new cars. It's a worry with the digs and the lemons and the risk. It's much easier to me to drive an ancient yet mechanically sound piece of crap and park next to a Ferrari.
- I burn incense constantly. Mostly nag champa or patchouli but also some christmas campfire blend I got at the Vancouver German Christmas market that everyone loves and I didn't stock up on this year so I hope I can make it last.
- I'm lactose intolerant but mildly so one milk product a day is fine but two will destroy me. So if I have cheese toast I can't have yogurt or ice cream later. Not a big deal. I don't run screaming from dairy but I'm amazed at what havoc it wreaks.
- I'm double-jointed, I'm a witch. I'm a Taurus. I'm a natural redhead.
- I grieve for him every single day, you know.
- I finished it. PJ owes me five thousand dollars now. Oh yeah. I love to make it rain. It's been engineered once and it's about to happen again. I danced for money once. Alright it was a few times.
Have a great day. This may not be up for long. Too much information. Not useable, just personal, I mean.