It's a glorious twenty degrees today and already I've been offered and have accepted Caleb's summerweight suitjacket as we have lunch on a patio over the water. The food is perfect, the other tables far away and the weather the best of the previous six weeks.
It's downright cold and fallish yet sunny. I love it.
He is disappointed that I didn't come over last night for movies and yet elated that I agreed to lunch. If only I can treat because it's my turn. That delights him but I'm sure he would agree to anything if only to have the time.
My ego chokes on a mushroom, chasing it with sparkling water, failing and dying in front of his eyes.
You're finished, his psyche tells me.
It's been fun, I tell him as everything fades to black.
In real life Caleb frowns as I take a second piece of bread. I catch the frown just before he corrects. He would rather I sat here looking pretty instead of actually eating. He likes to keep me fragile and frail while Loch wants to see me sturdy, brown and healthy. Well-fed, he says with a laugh and I know it's post-traumatic memories stealing the moment from him.
What? I hold the bread out in surprise, mouth full, eyes challenging.
Would you like me to order more? I was going to eat that. Caleb laughs.
I pass him the remaining piece and he nods in appreciation. Okay, sharing is good. He laughs and I roll my eyes as I take another sip of Prosecco.
Stay for a walk?
No. I have to get back. Henry needs lunch and I have some gardening to do.
Can't someone else look after things while you're away?
No? It's my son and my garden. I stare him down over the rim of my glass. I look after my responsibilities.
My apologies. I only meant that the boys should afford you more breaks. Following the suggestion -or reminder- of more time for fun for you.
They do a tremendous job of it but no one's going to make space for more time for you right now, Diabhal. There's just been too much upheaval between us this year already. First with Henry and then with Lochlan. I told you I needed time and I still do.
Funny that's the one thing I can't currently afford you.
Why the hell not?
Because I lose too much ground and you won't let me make it up. Because I love you too much to let go.
Take the hint. Be a friend. Be a distant friend and be glad I haven't evicted you from my house yet.
From your house?
Right. From MY HOUSE.
Neamhchiontach-
If you're going to be here you're to stand where I tell you to stand.
This is Lochlan. He's turned you against me.
You did that all on your own!
