I sent the boys outside to fight in the sun. PJ and I are inside trying to catch up on chores, playing Bon Jovi and trading off vocal licks like you wouldn't believe. After all this time we have it down to a cold habit. Duncan already expressed his admiration for our talent and Dalton complained (again) that he HATES Bon Jovi.
I reminded him he saw them twice and then asked him why he wasn't outside reffing the argument. He said Ben was out there, was I actually worried and I said I was, about everyone else. He said not to be, they weren't worth it and I reminded him who owns this house.
He tells me he thought I did now and I said technically I do but it's complic-
Oh, Bad Medicine is on. Let me go let my inner fifteen-year-old out. I'll be back.
***
Ben is understandably ragey at everyone. Mostly because we glossed when he was an absent friend once upon a time and we never went back and fixed that. There's never a good time to say, yeah so there's more to that thing you knew of. Maybe I should have sat him down and told him when he proposed but I was so busy being insane I barely stopped to remember he's been there so long, within reach.
He said he probably didn't give me a chance to have any solid brain matter left. I've told him so many times that day he said to me, Maybe you'd feel less like his if you were mine my insides liquified and haven't been the same since.
So he isn't angry at me.
He's angry for giving Caleb access. He's angry for giving Loch an unintentional pass. He's angry at the world right this second and not even Daniel can get him down from the black cloud he's climbed up on, and I gather he'll sit up there until he's good and ready.
He did clarify he isn't as angry at Lochlan, that he loves him, he just thinks that everything should have been put out there so that he wasn't in the dark. Lochlan acknowledged that, in tears and they had some sort of moment. It still floors me when they're affectionate with each other. Ben swings whichever way the wind blows and Lochlan doesn't like boys in that way so its phenomenal that he takes this beyond a brotherhood and into a whole new experience.
Caleb didn't even try to defend himself. I think he's just waiting for news to percolate down through the ranks and then the pitchforks and flaming torches to come out in force. He's sent me a dozen heartbreaking messages on my phone and I haven't responded to a single one but I'll give him credit. He isn't running.
I wonder if he should be.
