1)PJ's surrogate husband status.
PJ went on date number three with eharmony girl number five last night. She gave him the "it's not going to work out" speech and cut the night short before dessert. Why? Oh, because PJ thought his dinner conversation about Ruth's science fair project and his work on revamping the workshop in my basement was perfect dinner conversation. Apparently his date told him he should have listed his wife and children as his interests. He said he didn't have a wife and kids and she told him he most certainly did and he was a jerk for trying to pick something up on the side. Did we not go through this six times already? But I tell him to go away and he just stays around longer. Ironic, the ones I want to leave won't and the ones I want to keep don't stay.
2) Behind and above my fridge.
Please know I'm a neat freak. Everything has a place. Everything. I used to be worse, every dish in the sink would be washed or I couldn't fall asleep at night. I'm training myself to leave the empty mug on the coffee table overnight just to see if I can.
But the top of my fridge is a whole other story. I don't know if it's a fallback to the days of childproofing (or maybe dogproofing), but important papers and things I need to read are placed on top of the fridge. And since my fridge is six feet tall and I am five feet tall, I try to shove new papers up on top and that pushes all the other papers back further. Eventually they begin to fall behind the fridge. It's built into a cupboard so I don't notice.
I knew I had a problem when someone asked for a copy of Jacob's death certificate and I was out of them (Make copies. You will always need copies) and so I said I would grab one, that it was probably behind the fridge and she looked at me funny and of course, I got PJ (fake husband #1) to pull out the fridge and it was there, along with Cole's softball schedule and Ruth's first origami project. Lochlan's missing vehicle registration from 2006 was there too. Oops. Condoms that expired a year ago. Church proofs. God, it was a time capsule from hell. Everything went into a bin for sorting and there is now a stack of empty baskets on top of the fridge. They will remain empty.
I'm thinking of shoving the bin full of papers under my bed.
3) The lyrics.
I got a very imaginative letter from a reader who wonders if the song lyrics I post are actually secret messages.
Well, now, hello, my pretty.
You're half right and really this is the FIRST time ever in almost five years someone has contacted me to ask that very question and I'm really proud. I should have had prizes prepared. Also stellar are the two people who may have guessed right on a few other topics of great mystery and intrigue but I won't address any of them because great mystery! Intrigue!
Is this the most annoying entry I have ever written? Yes, I think so too.
