I'm going to try and be brief, typing with a sling isn't as easy as it looks.
A month ago I was ignorantly as happy as I thought I was ever going to be. Amazing how time flies and crawls all at once. And early this week I wrote that things were calming down. Boy how wrong that turned out to be.
Because last night Trey went to jail.
He came barging into the house and tossed me into a wall. Then he picked me up from the floor by the throat and smashed my head into the door, possibly more than once, I wouldn't know, the stars prevented me from counting and then the blackness took away the fear. His stupid handprint is still on my neck. And his stupid ass is in jail, because Jacob was out by the garage talking to the neighbors and heard Trey raging at me. The kids woke up. I didn't even think he was drunk but apparently he was. He didn't go after Jake, he came after me. He said he was going to kill me.
And I had defended him when Jacob asked me very very seriously if Trey had ever laid a hand on me. All he ever did aside from the frisbee plates was twist my wrist a few times to keep me in the room when I wanted to leave. I thought that was bad.
He left me with a fractured collarbone, a concussion, he dislocated my elbow and bruised my ribs and my back. I am very very frightened. I spent the whole remainder of last night and most of this morning possibly having every part of my body x-rayed and some of it cat-scanned. Tons of needles. Painkillers are so wonderful. Right now I feel nothing, and yet my body is wrecked. We are at Jake's house now. I'm learning all sorts of new phrases, like temporary prevention orders and release conditions. Sign-out against medical advice? A new favorite. And somehow I'm thrilled that I'm still alive. Amazed. I can't sleep. Ha. They told Jake to watch for personality changes. I heard the words brain injury. And battered wife. This is not who I am.
Jake showed herculean restraint by not killing Trey. I know he came so close. I was told it took three officers to get him off Trey and even then they had to threaten to arrest him too to get him to cool off. He wasn't even supposed to be there. Trey knew that. He planned it.
Charges are being laid. Apparently I don't even have to decide, the police do it. The flashing lights outside and all the people and everything scared the kids. We're seeing a domestic violence counsellor. Thankfully they had stayed in their rooms with the doors shut because they were scared by Trey's yelling and they didn't see him hurt me. Small thankful moments. Because I can't protect them from their own father and that's the scariest part. I didn't think he would hurt me ever and so I can't believe he wouldn't try to hurt them too.
After twenty years together you really think you know someone. Which is why I'm sharing this, because well, this isn't something I wanted to share but women should be aware of exactly how bad things can get, even with someone you know so well. I thought I knew Trey, but I didn't know the monster who came into the house last night. I also thought I was so tough-I was prepared to harm anyone who ever might come in and try to harm us. I never had a chance.
My mom is coming out tomorrow morning and blissfully I am going to sleep now and then take more of these drugs. Because they keep the shock of what happened from bugging me at all. Or maybe that's a defence mechanism. Either one is fine, I like it this way.
Wednesday 17 May 2006
Tuesday 16 May 2006
March of the inchworms.
We went for a long walk today, mostly to pick dandelions, watch ladybugs and scout out lilac and forsythia bushes that we liked. I got lots of xeriscaping ideas just from checking out yards I admired and I admit finally I really love the look of the well kept shabby chic-style white painted everything that is chipped just enough to be perfect, because it still reminds me of my grandparents' old house.
When we came home we had to pick over each other like monkeys, because we were once again covered with little green inchworm friends. I wonder how many are trapped in my ponytail. The kids loved them but all I could think of was that once again the city will be slayed by the cute little herbivores who will eat every leaf in sight, on a warpath similar to when the grasshoppers destroyed Pa's wheat that first summer on plum creek in the Little House series.
At least we can band our trees. Pa's field didn't have a chance.
They started over with nothing and they survived. I will survive and I have more than they did.
I have two beautiful kids, my violin, my spinning wheel and enough hope and courage to get. through. this.
It takes me forever to work through change. I don't move very quickly in reality and I warm up so slowly. I inch my way through life making sure I won't get squished, much like the little green worms, who seem so helpless and fragile alone but can leave trees bare-branched and reeling from their onslaught. I need an onslaught. Or something. A Bridget army! To slay all the obstacles and just let me live. Happily ever after. Because that's all I've ever wanted.
When we came home we had to pick over each other like monkeys, because we were once again covered with little green inchworm friends. I wonder how many are trapped in my ponytail. The kids loved them but all I could think of was that once again the city will be slayed by the cute little herbivores who will eat every leaf in sight, on a warpath similar to when the grasshoppers destroyed Pa's wheat that first summer on plum creek in the Little House series.
At least we can band our trees. Pa's field didn't have a chance.
They started over with nothing and they survived. I will survive and I have more than they did.
I have two beautiful kids, my violin, my spinning wheel and enough hope and courage to get. through. this.
It takes me forever to work through change. I don't move very quickly in reality and I warm up so slowly. I inch my way through life making sure I won't get squished, much like the little green worms, who seem so helpless and fragile alone but can leave trees bare-branched and reeling from their onslaught. I need an onslaught. Or something. A Bridget army! To slay all the obstacles and just let me live. Happily ever after. Because that's all I've ever wanted.
Finer points.
First up, a little blog business-email is back up on my profile! And a dedicated gmail address just for this site, because I got tired of hatemail on my personal email address and took it off for a bit. And I love mail so feel free to write me, even if it's bad. Because I will only look at it on days when it won't sting so much.
saltwaterprincess (at) gmail (dot) com
Now, I've had nice requests through email for more info. For lots of info. There are holes where information should be, because I have left things out on purpose.
I will say please don't think that Jacob's soon-to-be-ex wife is a victim in this. She didn't even live in this province. They got married back home after less than a year of dating, then she went off to school and her apartment in another city and Jacob decided to come out here when there was an opening. Yes, I know he followed me here. He loves me. It's very clear, and it always was. She came out here maybe 3 times and she's not exactly upset, she's relieved. Long distance is hard, and they weren't so much soul mates. Out of respect to her and to Jake I didn't say much about that. They made a mistake. She married him because she was afraid of not having anyone and he married her to try to forget about me.
And no I haven't talked of how Jacob and I met or details of our friendship over the past ten years because honestly, I look like an idiot when I think back. Who isn't an idiot when they're 25 and they don't know who they are quite yet? It's been a bittersweet, funny, amazing, painful ride for most of us, I think. Jake insists I wasn't an idiot but he wasn't inside my head so much back then. I can see now how things happened the way they did and why and it is my fault and I will be accountable for it.
saltwaterprincess (at) gmail (dot) com
Now, I've had nice requests through email for more info. For lots of info. There are holes where information should be, because I have left things out on purpose.
I will say please don't think that Jacob's soon-to-be-ex wife is a victim in this. She didn't even live in this province. They got married back home after less than a year of dating, then she went off to school and her apartment in another city and Jacob decided to come out here when there was an opening. Yes, I know he followed me here. He loves me. It's very clear, and it always was. She came out here maybe 3 times and she's not exactly upset, she's relieved. Long distance is hard, and they weren't so much soul mates. Out of respect to her and to Jake I didn't say much about that. They made a mistake. She married him because she was afraid of not having anyone and he married her to try to forget about me.
And no I haven't talked of how Jacob and I met or details of our friendship over the past ten years because honestly, I look like an idiot when I think back. Who isn't an idiot when they're 25 and they don't know who they are quite yet? It's been a bittersweet, funny, amazing, painful ride for most of us, I think. Jake insists I wasn't an idiot but he wasn't inside my head so much back then. I can see now how things happened the way they did and why and it is my fault and I will be accountable for it.
Monday 15 May 2006
Public declarations.
There is nothing like being formally introduced to the members of Jacob's parish during his announcements as the love of his life when they're all aware he is recently separated. Somehow it's okay to people after he explains that we danced around each other's hearts for almost 10 years. Within hours I think everyone knew our history together and we were warmly welcomed officially, as I have been to the church many times before, just not with any regularity. That will change.
So most people knew me anyway. Or they knew of me. There was such a buzz in the sanctuary when he seated us at the front I feared a throng chasing me down with a scarlet letter was imminent. But it was a friendly throng, and I got a lot of over the pew shoulder pats, and people whispering their welcomes and smiling at us. It was difficult to carry out the conversations with leaning in quietly and whispering, as my hearing loss doesn't allow much room for large areas with lots of people. I mostly smiled and said thank you, for this is a very loving, supportive group that accepts everyone. Absolutely everyone. Even me.
Jacob had a hard time quieting everyone and finally asked them if they could wait and greet us at the end of the service, for Bridget has a hearing disability and would find it easier to talk aloud in the vestibule on our way to the luncheon. I sort of was grateful and wanted to kill him all at once, for I had been happily pretending I could hear everyone up until then. And cue the fresh round of sympathetic murmurs. They were killing me with kindness.
And with that Jake was on a roll. He's intoxicating to watch, if not because of his blonde good looks and conviction with which he speaks but because he is so expressive. His eyes, his hands are gesturing and he walks around a lot, he takes people's hands and speaks to them. He works his way around. He was born for this. He looks so adorable with the bangs and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his white button down shirt that he doesn't tuck in. Jeans. Jeans in church. Mom, take notice.
The lunch afterwards was so fun, with the men serving pancakes and strawberry shortcake and the children passing out nosegays of flowers to all the mothers. We all felt like queens. And I believe the oldest mother there was 93, bless her heart. She told me to be happy, for Jacob is a 'real catch'. Then she giggled, for he has that effect on women.
I assured her I was so very happy. And she squeezed my hand and said Good, dear. Good.
We left the park at suppertime, still stuffed, but we had planned to meet Trey at the house for dinner and bedtimes and Sundays are Jacob's busiest day so we left him behind. Trey brought flowers and wished me a Happy Mother's Day and produced these painted rocks that the kids had created back home at the beach. So cool! We're going to put them in the rock garden in the backyard today. We made a really light supper together and he read stories to the kids while I cleaned up. Once they were in bed he left and I had a few minutes to myself to read, which was nice actually. Private moments don't come by easily and the day was so free of the stress I feared it would be full of. Relief.
When Jake finally came back we made tea and sat in the porch and talked for a few hours. About everything, about nothing and about the day. It was surprising, enlightening and comforting. We've got a groove now finally and everything has ratcheted back to normal emotionally.
What a nice day.
So most people knew me anyway. Or they knew of me. There was such a buzz in the sanctuary when he seated us at the front I feared a throng chasing me down with a scarlet letter was imminent. But it was a friendly throng, and I got a lot of over the pew shoulder pats, and people whispering their welcomes and smiling at us. It was difficult to carry out the conversations with leaning in quietly and whispering, as my hearing loss doesn't allow much room for large areas with lots of people. I mostly smiled and said thank you, for this is a very loving, supportive group that accepts everyone. Absolutely everyone. Even me.
Jacob had a hard time quieting everyone and finally asked them if they could wait and greet us at the end of the service, for Bridget has a hearing disability and would find it easier to talk aloud in the vestibule on our way to the luncheon. I sort of was grateful and wanted to kill him all at once, for I had been happily pretending I could hear everyone up until then. And cue the fresh round of sympathetic murmurs. They were killing me with kindness.
And with that Jake was on a roll. He's intoxicating to watch, if not because of his blonde good looks and conviction with which he speaks but because he is so expressive. His eyes, his hands are gesturing and he walks around a lot, he takes people's hands and speaks to them. He works his way around. He was born for this. He looks so adorable with the bangs and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his white button down shirt that he doesn't tuck in. Jeans. Jeans in church. Mom, take notice.
The lunch afterwards was so fun, with the men serving pancakes and strawberry shortcake and the children passing out nosegays of flowers to all the mothers. We all felt like queens. And I believe the oldest mother there was 93, bless her heart. She told me to be happy, for Jacob is a 'real catch'. Then she giggled, for he has that effect on women.
I assured her I was so very happy. And she squeezed my hand and said Good, dear. Good.
We left the park at suppertime, still stuffed, but we had planned to meet Trey at the house for dinner and bedtimes and Sundays are Jacob's busiest day so we left him behind. Trey brought flowers and wished me a Happy Mother's Day and produced these painted rocks that the kids had created back home at the beach. So cool! We're going to put them in the rock garden in the backyard today. We made a really light supper together and he read stories to the kids while I cleaned up. Once they were in bed he left and I had a few minutes to myself to read, which was nice actually. Private moments don't come by easily and the day was so free of the stress I feared it would be full of. Relief.
When Jake finally came back we made tea and sat in the porch and talked for a few hours. About everything, about nothing and about the day. It was surprising, enlightening and comforting. We've got a groove now finally and everything has ratcheted back to normal emotionally.
What a nice day.
Sunday 14 May 2006
Full day.
The kids are back, full of new habits and slightly wild from running free in the sun on the fields back home. Well, mostly sun. They played hard, loved up their cousins and didn't miss me at all, or so I thought, until everyone burst into tears the moment they plowed through the door at arrivals. So they missed me a lot but they did have fun.
They come back to a happy mom, a mom who pulled herself together finally. A rested, fed and loved mom. So Happy Mother's Day all around.
I'm going to church now. Jacob wants me to be there for the Mother's Day service and brunch and secretly I love watching him preach to a full house. So I'm putting on a pretty dress and my favorite shawl and got the kids all dressed up and we're going to sit in the front row. I'm nervous. Weird. Excited? Maybe. I can't quite place this feeling.
Have a great day!
They come back to a happy mom, a mom who pulled herself together finally. A rested, fed and loved mom. So Happy Mother's Day all around.
I'm going to church now. Jacob wants me to be there for the Mother's Day service and brunch and secretly I love watching him preach to a full house. So I'm putting on a pretty dress and my favorite shawl and got the kids all dressed up and we're going to sit in the front row. I'm nervous. Weird. Excited? Maybe. I can't quite place this feeling.
Have a great day!
Friday 12 May 2006
Random Friday.
I'm sucking the life out of my last afternoon of uninterrupted writing and these random thoughts keep flying into my head so I'm going to park them here. Random. Unedited, uncensored, unrelated and unhinged. Bridget at her most gloriously uncomposed. Love her or hate her. Tie me Up! Tie me down! But this is not today's entry, this is nonsense. Go here to read today's entry.
1. I want a life-sized angel statue for the garden. Not because it's spiritual or significant, but because the cover of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil was so striking to me. Of course, it was a cemetary. Can't win them all.
2. I was following links last night on blogs and came across a stack of 20s or 30s portraits of women and girls posing with the moon. I can't find the blog now but the pictures were so neat. Help anyone?
3. Do ladybugs bite really? We have so many, and they seem harmless.
4. I think I almost killed Jacob last night. Everything is new and different and yet perfect. I loved it. He loved it. He has no hang ups. Everything goes. Anything goes. Shhhh. I can't stop thinking about it. Makes me want to run down to the church and throw myself on his desk.
5. I finished the filet piece for my mom last night and now I have to send it overnight. This is going to be spendy and I forgot to take a picture before I wrapped it and it was the first piece of lace that ever came out really nice before blocking. Damn.
I think I'm going to find 5 o'clock somewhere and toast them and try to reel in my brain before I lose it. It's the Friday afternoon euphoria, the calm before the storm. The ever-lovin' madness, folks.
1. I want a life-sized angel statue for the garden. Not because it's spiritual or significant, but because the cover of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil was so striking to me. Of course, it was a cemetary. Can't win them all.
2. I was following links last night on blogs and came across a stack of 20s or 30s portraits of women and girls posing with the moon. I can't find the blog now but the pictures were so neat. Help anyone?
3. Do ladybugs bite really? We have so many, and they seem harmless.
4. I think I almost killed Jacob last night. Everything is new and different and yet perfect. I loved it. He loved it. He has no hang ups. Everything goes. Anything goes. Shhhh. I can't stop thinking about it. Makes me want to run down to the church and throw myself on his desk.
5. I finished the filet piece for my mom last night and now I have to send it overnight. This is going to be spendy and I forgot to take a picture before I wrapped it and it was the first piece of lace that ever came out really nice before blocking. Damn.
I think I'm going to find 5 o'clock somewhere and toast them and try to reel in my brain before I lose it. It's the Friday afternoon euphoria, the calm before the storm. The ever-lovin' madness, folks.
Simple words.
I have to spend today cleaning, getting more groceries and opening back up the house since the kids will be back tomorrow. They're excited to come home. I missed them so much. Everyone is anxious to get back into routine and we're all more than anxious to get on with life. Or begin our new lives or start over or make up time or whatever it is that we're doing, because it's all new to me.
Jacob sometimes seems as if he has the inside edge, like he just knew exactly how everything was going to play out. Career-wise he's slightly shaken because he put me first. He doesn't do that. I don't want him to do that. God always comes first with Jake, no matter how messed up his life is. And he's at a crossroads now inside his heart. I think the sabbatical will be a good thing if he gets approved. Cross your fingers. It might be long delayed because he is supposed to submit his plans the year before it is to take place. At any rate he still has a month's worth of vacation and a month of education weeks he can take if things get too hard for him. He is so strong but he's taken a hard look at his actions and he told me God must have decided I am rather special to push me to the forefront of Jake's life so consistently. I tell him he was sent by God to look after me. Maybe God knew how much I would need Jake. And Jake very simply reminded me that if I believe in God's forgiveness than I will have it.
But frankly I don't know what the hell I am talking about anymore. It's complicated and half-stupid and half-wonderful and I know how to be a lover, a mother, a wife, a friend. I don't know how to be a girlfriend, a divorced woman, a single mother or one of God's children.
It's like the first day of preschool and I don't know where to sit.
I've had some strange calls too. People wonder if having been away from Trey for a whole week might make me miss him too and maybe they think I'm going to bounce back to him once again.
I'm not. I don't miss him. I haven't missed him for the first time ever. It doesn't feel weird anymore because I'm not up in the air anymore. And I try not to dwell on the dark spots even though sometimes they swallow me whole.
And I asked Jake for help, for figuring out how to do what he does, to live one day at a time and not get caught up in trying so hard to wait out the present in hopes that the future will be better or different and he smiled and went into his televangical parody in which he presses his hand on your forehead and raises the other up to the sky. Then he cracked up. It wasn't the time for that, I was being serious.
He told me if you don't take the time to find life and laughter and fun out of every single day on earth then what a waste.
And Bridget, life is too good to waste. There is too much out there to do, see and feel and it's all for us. It's a gift and we'd be foolish not to accept it.
I think I'm mad at him for not telling me this back in 1997.
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
The bible didn't mention us, not even once
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first , I loved you first
~Samson, Regina Spektor
Jacob sometimes seems as if he has the inside edge, like he just knew exactly how everything was going to play out. Career-wise he's slightly shaken because he put me first. He doesn't do that. I don't want him to do that. God always comes first with Jake, no matter how messed up his life is. And he's at a crossroads now inside his heart. I think the sabbatical will be a good thing if he gets approved. Cross your fingers. It might be long delayed because he is supposed to submit his plans the year before it is to take place. At any rate he still has a month's worth of vacation and a month of education weeks he can take if things get too hard for him. He is so strong but he's taken a hard look at his actions and he told me God must have decided I am rather special to push me to the forefront of Jake's life so consistently. I tell him he was sent by God to look after me. Maybe God knew how much I would need Jake. And Jake very simply reminded me that if I believe in God's forgiveness than I will have it.
But frankly I don't know what the hell I am talking about anymore. It's complicated and half-stupid and half-wonderful and I know how to be a lover, a mother, a wife, a friend. I don't know how to be a girlfriend, a divorced woman, a single mother or one of God's children.
It's like the first day of preschool and I don't know where to sit.
I've had some strange calls too. People wonder if having been away from Trey for a whole week might make me miss him too and maybe they think I'm going to bounce back to him once again.
I'm not. I don't miss him. I haven't missed him for the first time ever. It doesn't feel weird anymore because I'm not up in the air anymore. And I try not to dwell on the dark spots even though sometimes they swallow me whole.
And I asked Jake for help, for figuring out how to do what he does, to live one day at a time and not get caught up in trying so hard to wait out the present in hopes that the future will be better or different and he smiled and went into his televangical parody in which he presses his hand on your forehead and raises the other up to the sky. Then he cracked up. It wasn't the time for that, I was being serious.
He told me if you don't take the time to find life and laughter and fun out of every single day on earth then what a waste.
And Bridget, life is too good to waste. There is too much out there to do, see and feel and it's all for us. It's a gift and we'd be foolish not to accept it.
I think I'm mad at him for not telling me this back in 1997.
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
The bible didn't mention us, not even once
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first , I loved you first
~Samson, Regina Spektor
Wednesday 10 May 2006
He's all about the journey.
Last night I walk into the house after being outside for a long time gardening. I hear loud music and I go into the kitchen and Jake was there singing along at the top of his lungs to "You and Me" by Lifehouse. Oh so passionately singing his heart out. At the top of his lungs.
Here are the lyrics:
I managed to record a lovely 15 second clip for future blackmail purposes on my cell phone, not for the amusing solitary culinary karaoke that I was not aware he practiced, but for the incredible conviction with which Jacob was singing the words. And when his folks come I'm going to show his mom and thank her for having him. And then I'll show the girls back home so they can fall over dead with jealousy. Because he sings well and all but oh my God the feeling behind it.
A welcome distraction from the mounting intensity around here, for Trey and the kids come back on Saturday.
Here are the lyrics:
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I managed to record a lovely 15 second clip for future blackmail purposes on my cell phone, not for the amusing solitary culinary karaoke that I was not aware he practiced, but for the incredible conviction with which Jacob was singing the words. And when his folks come I'm going to show his mom and thank her for having him. And then I'll show the girls back home so they can fall over dead with jealousy. Because he sings well and all but oh my God the feeling behind it.
A welcome distraction from the mounting intensity around here, for Trey and the kids come back on Saturday.
Not going to become the porn blog.
Much as I tease him about it online, no, Jacob doesn't really mind if I write about him to the extent that I say it bothers him. I do that to protect him. Hello, this blog has practically become his fanclub. He's that awesome. I really need a new word, I've been using awesome since 1982. I think his ego gets a boost from the good things he reads that I think, even though I tell him these things every day now anyway. It used to be more of a surprise for him to read what I was thinking about him because we were with other people then. He says he likes it better this way. And I try to keep it um...sort of clean because his family reads, my family reads, and that's just yuck.
And speaking of fun, this week the email group has been offering up sacrificial lambs for celebrity lookalike month. I got Hannah Spearritt from S club 7. Just make the hair longer and that's me. So bizarre!
Jacob got a young Robert Redford. Which is close except add like 5 days beard growth.
Although put together it looks incestuous. It's not I swear. Jacob is my age.
Too funny. Next week is porn star lookalike. That's going to be so funny. We have topics that make the rounds just to keep everyone connected. It's a great way to keep in touch with the far flung friends and close ones who are working weird hours.
Update: I couldn't resist, I had to find a less-composed pic of Redford that would look more like Jake. I think I got it. I even did a double take. Wow.
And speaking of fun, this week the email group has been offering up sacrificial lambs for celebrity lookalike month. I got Hannah Spearritt from S club 7. Just make the hair longer and that's me. So bizarre!
Jacob got a young Robert Redford. Which is close except add like 5 days beard growth.
Although put together it looks incestuous. It's not I swear. Jacob is my age.
Too funny. Next week is porn star lookalike. That's going to be so funny. We have topics that make the rounds just to keep everyone connected. It's a great way to keep in touch with the far flung friends and close ones who are working weird hours.
Update: I couldn't resist, I had to find a less-composed pic of Redford that would look more like Jake. I think I got it. I even did a double take. Wow.
Tuesday 9 May 2006
He really does read this.
I got a phone call from Jacob a bit ago asking me to please not put intimate details of our life up here. Sexual ones I think he meant. Because he really doesn't want everyone to know how easily he can make me scream.
Hahahahaha.
This is better than when I played telephone in grade three.
No seriously. I try to not be gratuitous and keep it in relevance to whatever I'm talking about.
But seriously. You put the new Tool album on the CD player and give me a glass of wine and I am your porn star for the night. Jacob is starting to beg for mercy just enough.to.be.really.fun.
He's not really as innocent as your typical preacher.
No, in fact, he's just a bit of a hair puller. I have confirmed he has a total fetish for my hair. What a riot.
Now that was gratuitous.
:) Happy Bridget.
Hahahahaha.
This is better than when I played telephone in grade three.
No seriously. I try to not be gratuitous and keep it in relevance to whatever I'm talking about.
But seriously. You put the new Tool album on the CD player and give me a glass of wine and I am your porn star for the night. Jacob is starting to beg for mercy just enough.to.be.really.fun.
He's not really as innocent as your typical preacher.
No, in fact, he's just a bit of a hair puller. I have confirmed he has a total fetish for my hair. What a riot.
Now that was gratuitous.
:) Happy Bridget.
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