Thursday 26 April 2018

Rainbow roses.

It's twenty-five fucking degrees.

Yes? 

Can we not fill the pool? 

No, the temperatures will be back down to seasonal by the weekend. 

The pool is heated!

I said no, Bridget. How many tantrums are you going to throw this week, anyway?

GAH.

To make me feel better Ben tossed me off the cliff into the sea, which might have been twenty-five degrees below zero and I may have screamed, swallowed a whole lot of water and burst an eardrum. Which..great.

Spent the afternoon getting a lecture and some drops for my ear. Got an offer of discounted plastic surgery (again). God. What a day.

Schuyler sent flowers. I was confused for a few moments. The doctor just left. How would he know already? Then I read the card which read: He'll be off at 3. This is on me. Don't be angry with him. (Meaning Lochlan.)

I look at the clock. It's four-fifteen.

Lochlan calls. Schuy said he sent flowers. 

Yes, they're beautiful. Clearly they were fertilized with whatever he's full of. He said you'd be off at three. 

Just last minute fixes. 

I understand. 

No you don't. He laughs. But I will be home soon. What are you up to? 

Well, earlier my ex-husband violently threw me off a high cliff into the sea. The doctor said I never would have survived it anyway but then the Devil brought me back to life just enough for conversation and now we're arguing over the perks of being rich and how much power is too much power when all I want to do is put water in the pool already but I'm dead so I have no authority here presently.

So your typical Thursday?

Yes.