Friday 18 December 2015

Thanks for easing up on whatever you were giving him. Also, no spoilers because we haven't seen it yet either.

I might have had sex with Lochlan in the front seat of his truck in the pouring rain this morning with both doors open and the stereo blasting Disturbed's cover of The Sound of Silence.

That's why we were late for caroling. But it's okay. Lochlan walked in, took the guitar offered by Ben and asked if there was anyone from Scotland in the house (there wasn't), and he said he would sing a little ditty from a man named Robbie Burns then. He sang Auld Lang Syne for them and everyone started calling Happy New Year at the end

It was a little fucking weird but Merry Christmas! Are we done yet?

Came home and I had to earn my ticket for Star Wars from Christian. Who bought twenty-seven AVX tickets and possibly had to run his credit card under running water to put it out afterward, for it was smoking. He also had to call it in since no one lets you order that many online so it must be a birthday party, please call your local theater and here we go again. Back to twelve, when the only way into their crazy two-level two-stories-up winter treehouse in the woods by the lake was to answer science-fiction trivia. Something I'm terrible at.

Okay, Bridget. What's the name of the group the baddies belong to?

The Empire! No, wait! The Rebellion! I don't know which is good or bad!

Who is the baddest bad guy?

The old man with the hood. The Empire-or! Or the man with the plastic helmet. What about the green helmet? Bonne Fete? Why did they name him Happy Birthday? Is that what he says before he kills people?

What are the glowy-eyed dudes called?


JAWAS! I know that one because I was going to be one for Halloween but I couldn't find lights that worked away from the plug.

What's the basic plot of the second movie?

Which one is the first then? Okay, a bunch of people try to bring down the Empire and they fight back. Some of the jedis are good and some are bad and they save the princess and then space is safe again! Also droids and teddy bears and big slothy creeps are everywhere. Annnnnnnd...everyone is afraid of the Deaf Star.

Fail. She can't come up to the treehouse. 

But we need her! Someone has to play Leia! 

She's blonde. Leia has brown hair. We'd be better off using Lochlan. 

But Lochlan wants to be Han Solo so I get to play Leia, and I'm warned that if I want to go see any more movies with them that I'd better read the books or at least get the movies on VHS and watch them all again. I never did but I get a ticket anyway for cuteness or something. Fine by me, not like I won't sleep through it anyway.

I won my ticket by distracting him with talk of being excited for BB8. B-bait. Whatever it is. The new orange volleyball-stack droid. I should start hosting trivia contests to let them in the house when they come home. It would only be fair, except I'll quiz them on Louboutin styles and Kat Von D lipstick colors. It would make as much sense, frankly.

So I'm not all that excited for Star Wars but so far it's a good day here.