She showed him all her teeth. He saw a smile.They're all moved in, amazingly enough. We left all of the dishes in the kitchen downstairs because PJ doesn't need them. Matt thanked us for not stepping in too closely but supporting them both objectively, lovingly. And he apologized for hurting Sam. Sam apologized for hurting him before he could finish. We all found things we needed to go and do so we could leave them to their new home. I stole out to the boathouse and boldly pilfered a bottle of Dom from Caleb's extra-secret stash and came back, knocked on their door and when Sam opened it, I said Happy housewarming!, thrust the bottle into his arms and turned and left. Boundaries. They end at that door right there.
~Joanna Russ, in The Female Man.
And hey, we got something right for once as a group.
Sam has promised he won't be a stranger. I hope he keeps it.
Today was special breakfast sesh with PsychoJoel, and surprisingly I didn't get a single word of protest about it, which means I am as insane as I thought.
There were no butternauts. We went to a diner that had those little individual butter containers that were round and you had to peel the lid off and underneath the lid these ones were ice-cold. Butter-concrete. We asked if they could be warmed and got an almost-eyeroll. The effort the server put into controlling her judgement of our pretension earned her a forty percent tip because it was masterful and I made a little hacked up butter inukshuk to say I was there.
We made no progress because I'm not feeling even forty percent of usual myself so when I got home my relative paleness and the fact that I am mostly exhausted and refusing to eat much because it just wreaks havoc on my whole system bought me an appointment with scary Russian pseudodoc.
(Who loved my stitches on Lochlan's face and said I would have made a terrific field nurse. Except that I couldn't hear him because his accent is so thick, I thought he was calling me a field mouse and I agreed heartily with that, except I couldn't understand what that had to do with Lochlan's stitches.)
I have more pills because pills. They fix everything. Except I'm famous for not taking pills so he gave me a list of good dietary things to bring me back around, and the usual reminders to get more rest, take better care, slow down, that I'm not out of the woods yet with my kidneys, that all of these wonderful men should be doing my bidding, etc.
When he left I turned to Loch and said, See? You're all supposed to be looking after me!
He nods and says dryly, You won't let us, you little fuckhead. I haven't been able to look after you properly since the eighties. Stubborn as a bull. You're impossible.
I just want a vacation.
Name a place.
I'll have to get back to you. Maybe we can just drive to Malibu. (Unless there are pills that will make me happy to fly. Oh I know what they are, thanks and I'm not interested in those either.)
Sam came up (already! Yay!) and asked if I had any fish sauce, that he is going to make a special dinner for him and Matt tonight. I asked how the champagne was and he said they were saving it for tonight because tonight will be so much more relaxing than last night.
Then he asked if his laundry was ready because boys. No one has taken this chore off my hands after five years of living within this collective, while they all stand here with their arms crossed and tell me I need a break.
I'm going to start a chore chart.
Yes, that will work.