Thursday, 20 December 2012

Sedation by chocolate.

Stop, tell me where you going
Maybe the one you love isn't there
This morning I was called out for my recklessness in following Caleb into what I knew to be a shitstorm when no one else saw it coming. I did absolutely nothing to protect myself from him and that is now a cardinal sin, where so many things aren't, and gosh, it's really hard to continue to be childish while still being able to parse all of the assumption and innuendo that flies through the air out here on the windy, isolated point by the sea. It's like this is our planet, and we're cut off from the rest of the solar system, forced to depend on each other, and maybe failing.

Lochlan is trying so hard to be hands-off. That's what Ben has asked for. Hands off. No fighting. Let Bridget figure out her own shit and unless things are dire, don't run in to fix a damn thing for her.

Because to Ben, I am my actual age. To Lochlan I am forever twelve years old. Forever.

And ever.

And ever.


The doorbell rang just before lunch and there is Lucifer standing in the rain with one of his good plates, and on said plate is a piece of cake. Warm cake, for I can see the steam rising from the top.

Oh, well, hello there, Dream Come True. 

It's a peace offering, but damn, you know how to make a monster feel good. 

Lochlan appears over my head and asks Caleb if he thinks dessert can smooth this over. Caleb's face falls. Of course not, rat. This is just the beginning. 

Lochlan tries to get around me so I grab the doorframe to buy Caleb time to at least put my cake down so it doesn't become a casualty. I holler for PJ because no way are they continuing this today.

Caleb, thinking fast for once, passes the cake over my head to Lochlan and tells him maybe he needs it more than I do. Lochlan, to his credit, takes the plate so that it doesn't fall and land on my skull.

I don't think so, I protest and jump for it. Lochlan keeps it up high. Bastard.  

I really really want to flatten this motherfucker, peanut, he whispers and I see the control fights from all sides suddenly. We're either really good or we're really fucking damaged now.

Then Caleb says again that he's sorry and he turns and goes back across the driveway. I watch him and when I turn back around Lochlan has eaten the cake.

All of it.

What the fuck.