Things I am sick of: "No worries" comments, solar eclipses, gas-powered outdoor landscaping equipment noise, waiting for paint to dry and the infuriating instant-cry that happens when I think about death.
Things I am grateful for: sunshine and dandelions, pear blossoms (even if they do smell bad), handsewn patchwork, sleepy cats, and Ben's easy hands fixing the coffee grinder which otherwise sounds as loud as one of my nemesis outdoor equipment noises. I believe a bean fell down and got stuck in the sharp parts and it sounds like some kind of electric voodoo blender these days, and so he's having a look.
This is of no consequence to me, since I refuse to make fancy coffee and if no one is free these days I'll make instant but a scoop of instant mixed with a scoop of hot chocolate for a de facto mocha which is equal parts awful and delicious.
So there.
There's a house near us for sale for four million bucks. It is smaller than most, has two bedrooms and probably will be flattened to make room for a huge mcMansion right to the edges of their property line, which is three cliffs instead of one and not a good plan at ALL. I like the house but I don't want to own it. I am working hard to uncomplicate my life in the extreme and doing really good at it, frankly, including my finances. It was sort of the last hurdle as I do a refresh of sorts. A digital cleanse and organize to follow all of the physical ones that have taken place.
It's bright enough today to work on the dark green socks I am knitting for Lochlan so off I go to drink some tea and remember that the world is beautiful and all of this is the important parts. The thoughts, dreams, sunny breezes and hot tea. The act of mindful work for a loved one. The gratitude list, playing like a mantra over the squiggly line that makes up my own unalome. The faded patio pillows against the fresh dark green grass and the noises ebbing at last as people hang up their tools, trading them for dinner utensils and quiet pursuits at sunset.
I'll still burst into tears randomly but maybe I'm grateful for that too.