Struggling with big pictures, small victories, optimism, faith and delibilitating self-doubt today.
Yep, sounds like a Friday to me. Many good things, many bad things, many normal everyday things that are like mountains in the way of my path moving forward and all of it is just average to everyone but still a mountain to me. I understand perspective and I understand stress. I understand my anxiety and how it manifests as fear and I understand the sun on my face will fix fully half of it and a good nights' sleep the other. Hopefully I can pull off one or the other, if not both. The sun and sleep, I mean. I can't pull my face off. Well I could and underneath is a tiny shrieking mouse with nowhere left to hide.
On the upside we have nachos. There's a new season of the English speaking Love Is Blind (as much as I loved the colombia version it was also a culture shock I never made it past and found it so distracting. Not even in a bad way, I just felt like they were all bad actors in the end) and Daniel and I have a sound plan to get hooked on Netflix K-Dramas this weekend if it kills us.
So see? My mind is a rollercoaster and I'm not taller enough to qualify to ride the fucking thing.
The ghosts are all home. I gathered them up into a squad. I keep my eye on them. I childproofed my brain so they can't get into any trouble and within the chorus of laughter I learned it wouldn't work.