Thursday, 23 December 2021

You're the ocean. I'm the pond.

The concert of the century continues as I get up at six am sharp, open all the doors save for Henry's wing and blast them with my renditions of all of my favourite love songs, lyrics changed. Raise a showgirl, expect a performance, I say. 

(Raise a freak, expect a freakshow.)

Guess there is something, and there is nothing
There is nothing in between
And in my eyes, there is a tiny dancer
Watching over me, she's singing
 I'm a I'm a lady, and you are just a boy
She's singing I'm a I'm a lady, and you are just a line without a hook

Lochlan comes down and closes the cover on the keys. On my fingers. Enough. 

You're enough. 

I hoped I would be, at one point. 

And now?

Now I don't know anymore. 

You invited him for Saturday. I would have been fine until Ostara. 

Right. 

You don't know me. 

I do though. Better than I know myself. 

If that were true-

Oh, please, go on. 

You would know that yesterday's projections were off the mark. 

Prove it. 

Trying my best. 

He stands his ground and waits. I pick up my phone and send a one-line text. 

Saturday's off. 

The reply comes in seconds. Tell him to stop being so paranoid. Lochlan, stop being so paranoid.

I hold the phone out, the bitter twisted smile forming a portrait background, our blurred scenery making it so hard to focus anymore it's almost criminal. 

Told you, I say victoriously as his face crumples into tears of relief. Now stop trying to ruin Christmas.