The night slides over me, a languid ink that colors my pupils in full dark and serves to highlight the gold and silver on my head and on my fingers. It leaves me gracefully as the sun rises low in the sky to my left, to the East, thankfully, as I don't have to look at him to my right, watching me from the bed, openly staring from where there's no dark left to hide behind.
Maybe I should have left in that cover, hours ago, but instead I slept easily in good sheets and climate control, in the arms of a man who wasn't going to hurt me so that he could feel good and all I can think at this age of twenty is how I can leave Cole so I can have this. This man doesn't hate me. He is lonely and he wants someone to take care of and somehow in sponsoring Cole's photography equipment and trips he has become my quiet saviour. He puts money in my personal account every month whether I see him or not without fail.
Come back. I'll take you home later. We'll have some breakfast and then you'll be home before you're missed, Batman says with a smile. Really lonely. Probably more than I originally thought.
I turn to look at him. Where's your wife?
London.
Oh.
Bridget. We're not together. We just haven't bothered getting divorced yet. You know this.
Every man says that. Did you know?
He chuckles. This isn't a fling, Bridget. You're important to me.
I swallow a lump. I wonder if he knows every man says that to me too. I turn, letting the full sun hit my naked skin. If there's one place I have power, it's right here. Can we have eggs benedict? I change the subject. And champagne?
We can have whatever your heart desires.
(Can you save me from the brothers Grimm?) And fruit! Kiwis maybe. I never get those.
I'll make a call and have it sent.
From where?
A restaurant that can do that this early.
Restaurants deliver breakfast?
No, my assistant will deliver it. Jasper. Remember?
Yes. But I had forgotten. I met him once and I wasn't sure exactly who he was but he brought papers in to be signed and we were half-drunk already and headed out dancing and Jasper seemed annoyed. I assumed he was a colleague or a coworker. That means he can't be annoyed by me, as he serves Batman. That means now I have to see him again.
You forgot.
It wasn't a proper introduction so I was a bit iffy on who he was.
My apologies. But he's my conscience.
Is he now.
That's a challenge to my statement. Why? I get that Batman is both patient and looking for an equal that I can never be. I'm young and despite my years in unsavoury yet worldly environments I'll never be jaded nor sophisticated enough to spar with him verbally but I'm going to give it my best shot nonetheless.
Is he your confidant though?
No. But maybe he sees things and wonders.
Wonders what?
If you're old enough to be here. Who you belong to.
Oh.
What should I tell him?
Lochlan's face flashes through my mind like a reflection on water that suddenly forms a wake. Tell him it's none of his business. You're his boss. I say suddenly, annoyed. I've already decided that if Jasper is going to judge me, or Batman, for that matter, then I will judge them right back. When you can bring the world to its knees in such a weirdly powerful way at such a tender age you end up with nothing but false bravado and misplaced ego, and I suddenly have so much of both I can't hold it up anymore and I collapse on the bed beside him. He leans up on one elbow and kisses me.
You are right and I would be wise to remember that. It's hard when I'm here in this city. I don't know anyone except for you and Cole.
You should meet Cole's brother.
Is he an artist as well?
No. He's a rich lawyer (and he's going to want to kill you (and me) when I tell him about you).
Maybe I know him already then.
He lives in Toronto.
What's his name?
Name me the lawyers you know and I'll tell you if you're right.
You don't trust me. He is amused suddenly. I would think this is a respite from Cole and from his brother. If you don't trust me, are you telling me you trust them? Bridget, you've had twelve years to believe them when they show you who you are and maybe I want to exist as a respite to all that?
Who told you this?
I can find things out easily enough and I don't think your army is functioning the way you hoped it would.
My brain explodes and I don't say any more. It's been twelve years? It's been half that since Lochlan bailed on me due to pressure from Caleb and ten years since Caleb started touching me and I didn't think anyone knew about it and I don't know how Batman knows about it or if he knew before and he's trying to save me or found out recently and is just trying to save me after the fact. Maybe he just wants a piece of the action. Maybe he's pretending to be a good guy in a bad world and maybe this is just a test from Caleb, just like everything else and I've already failed and he probably is going to kill me.
Actually, save breakfast for another time. I should go. Cole's going to be worried about me.
If he was worried about you he never would have let you come to me.
There's my confirmation. I can trust Batman. He doesn't know Cole (or Caleb) after all or he would know they really get off on this.
I watch Batman sleep thirty years later. Long-divorced. Jasper is long gone too. The head games are gone, and Batman doesn't even try to pretend he isn't lonely but he also won't make any moves ever again to change that. He and New Jake watch movies together and cook elaborate meals a few nights a week and every few months (or years) I show up and he's marginally less lonely but somehow serves as a huge memory cache for me now as I can put every interaction we have ever had down as a puzzle piece and the big picture is suddenly so clear. He's not an agent of Caleb, an outlier or a whim. He's my true guardian angel and I didn't know it until now.