Today is brought to you by my handknit pale blue sweater and this stoneware bowl full of dried cranberries that I am snacking on while I review, for my Collective, all the shitty horror movies currently on Netflix in hopes that if I someday see them all then only good ones will be ahead of me.
I don't know if any of these are on Netflix but horror movies I love include Thirteen Ghosts, The Town That Dreaded Sundown and any and all versions, sequels and reimaginings of the franchises Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Jeepers Creepers.
Safe to say I'm a slasher fan (though Thirteen Ghosts is just about every single genre of horror movie at once and it remains forever my absolute favorite scary movie), through and through, raised on Friday the Thirteenth and Nightmare on Elm Street movies. Scary meant a mysterious man in a mask, killing at random but mostly at night. Small idyllic towns that suddenly weren't so safe anymore and screams that would split your head open if only they weren't abruptly cut off by a violent death.
And while I have no use for terrible horrible movies or unimaginative or unscary ones, I have to vet the available offerings from Netflix for the boys every Halloween. Or rather, they let me. Ruth also participates though she makes better choices. I go straight for the bad ones on purpose.
Like yesterday's Friend Request.
Oh my LAWD.
It was so bad. The only good thing I could come up with (a requirement in these reviews, for sporting sake) was that it was like some VFX student raised his hand and told his instructor I can animate bees! and so they wrote a movie around that talent, using the Angelfire online diary of a preteen who watched an old VHS copy of The Craft once. It belonged to her mom.
That bad? Dalton laughs.
That bad. Maybe worse. Jesus. It stared the girl who plays Lexa in The 100 and also was in Fear the Walking Dead (I think). She was great. Everything else was tropey-tropes. I almost need to watch an old favourite as a palate-cleanser but instead I will soldier on. Today's offering is...uh..Searching. Which apparently might be better. Here's hoping it at least sucks less.
Update before dinner: Searching was fantastic and very stressful. Not my genre type but reallly good!