(He also said "Never fear quarrels but seek hazardous adventures instead" and I love that one too.)
Caleb was gracious about the whole thing, sending me a single character text shortly after I got home last night, my legs aching, my heart somewhat heavy at the thought of a night torn between the Devil and and the brown eyes of my dreams.
?
I didn't respond, an action that told Caleb everything he needed to know.
Ben was unrepentant, with a hungry eye towards gifting me a crazy night, though I was maybe too tired to reciprocate in the way I would have liked. I just know at some point, when I was sitting in his lap, my arms tight around his neck, either holding on for dear life or just climbing back down from the moon, I rested my head against his shoulder and he stopped short in the dark, pulling me in close and just holding me.
That was what I needed. That, and the orange juice he brought upstairs beforehand because it's the little things.
Actually, it's the big things too.
(Snort.)
At some point Lochlan slid his arms around me from beside us and we made a Bridget-sandwich and I closed my eyes and reached up to stop some invisible hand of time.
Just for a moment.
Just for this moment.
Lochlan's head comes to rest against mine and he whispers that he loves me. I think he's weirdly grateful to be in the space he's supposed to be in, maybe weirdly grateful I didn't take Ben's plans and run with them.
I mean, sometimes I do. Last night honestly I just wanted Ben and Lochlan to be in the same place at the same time. I never see Ben and he's supposed to be our third wheel, so without him around much we drag on one rim and it takes forever to get anywhere.
He promises to fix that. I don't know if he says that to be kind or he just forgets he has a family but I have his promises filed away just in case I need to pull them out and remind him.
Today I spent a hell of a lot of time leaning against the counter. Trying to batch my trips around the diner. Trying to not hurt so fucking much. I think I failed but it was more than worth it.
Caleb was gracious about the whole thing, sending me a single character text shortly after I got home last night, my legs aching, my heart somewhat heavy at the thought of a night torn between the Devil and and the brown eyes of my dreams.
?
I didn't respond, an action that told Caleb everything he needed to know.
Ben was unrepentant, with a hungry eye towards gifting me a crazy night, though I was maybe too tired to reciprocate in the way I would have liked. I just know at some point, when I was sitting in his lap, my arms tight around his neck, either holding on for dear life or just climbing back down from the moon, I rested my head against his shoulder and he stopped short in the dark, pulling me in close and just holding me.
That was what I needed. That, and the orange juice he brought upstairs beforehand because it's the little things.
Actually, it's the big things too.
(Snort.)
At some point Lochlan slid his arms around me from beside us and we made a Bridget-sandwich and I closed my eyes and reached up to stop some invisible hand of time.
Just for a moment.
Just for this moment.
Lochlan's head comes to rest against mine and he whispers that he loves me. I think he's weirdly grateful to be in the space he's supposed to be in, maybe weirdly grateful I didn't take Ben's plans and run with them.
I mean, sometimes I do. Last night honestly I just wanted Ben and Lochlan to be in the same place at the same time. I never see Ben and he's supposed to be our third wheel, so without him around much we drag on one rim and it takes forever to get anywhere.
He promises to fix that. I don't know if he says that to be kind or he just forgets he has a family but I have his promises filed away just in case I need to pull them out and remind him.
Today I spent a hell of a lot of time leaning against the counter. Trying to batch my trips around the diner. Trying to not hurt so fucking much. I think I failed but it was more than worth it.