By eleven thirty the party has wound down and everyone has wandered off into small groups. Dalton has stuck close by me and I him. Good. Three months without this one was rough, though I'm not sure who had it worse, me or him, or possibly Duncan, who shed every ounce of cool and had tears in his eyes for most of the evening as he hung on his little brother's every word. We abandoned the cold table in favor of the warm and cozy fire pit early on in the evening while Dalton regaled us with stories of..kale salads and bed every night by eleven alone. No women. No Netflix and no merch. Free days were spent in art museums and cathedrals. Free nights he had his Kale early and got extra sleep.
Wait. What? Where are the girls? Where are the broken hearts scattered all over Europe? Where is the love?
Here with my family, he smiles. I'm so happy to be home.
He already got an offer to go back in the fall. He's not sure.
He brought us all Dala horses from Sweden, in colors and sizes that correspond to our sizes and favorite colors. Ben's is the size of a cat and dark. Mine is palm-sized and teal blue. Loch's is red and covered with the most ornate filigree and about ten inches around. The rest of the boys got horses in their favorite colors somewhere from the same size as Ben's down to Lochlan's. The children's horses have inlays of enamel in them with their initials. He did amazingly well. They're just beautiful.
***
One forty-five and I have been summoned by the Devil, briefly for a check-in. Loch waits in the driveway, not because of the bears but for the demons. Caleb sits in his candlelit kitchen, all windows open to hear the roar of the surf washing over the rocks, and feel the cool night air washing over our skin. He's got three fingers of bourbon warming at his hand, the bottle close by. It doesn't look like it will be a pretty night (for him anyway). My night is almost over. I'm hardly awake still and Ben waits for me upstairs. A nice surprise after a week of veritable strangeness.
Neamhchiontach.
I'm expecting a verbal flaying. Maybe some legal threats. I went where I haven't gone before.
Yes?
Are you...okay?
Pardon?
I mean...do you need anything?
I'm..okay. Are you...okay? Is there something I can do for you?
I'm...are you going to list my mistakes now for all to see?
Absolutely not. It serves no purpose. But it also serves no purpose to sugarcoat our relationship.
Like we do now.
Exactly, like we do now.
We do, don't we, Bridget?
It works best, I think. I need to go. Loch is waiting-
How is he with this-
He didn't do anything-
He was there too-
He wasn't an adult-
Oh. I forget sometimes how much younger he is.
He was seventeen. You were twenty, Diabhal.
I'm so sorry, Bridget.
Goodnight, Caleb.
When I get back outside Loch is right there with his head pressed against the cedar shakes waiting for me, out-loud counting seconds into minutes, eyes closed.
Locket. Let's go.
What did he want?
He asked if I was okay.
Really?
And he wanted to know how much I was going to write about.
There's the lawyer. Gearing up, I suppose.
Of course. He tried to implicate you as well.
Me?
Until I reminded him of how old you were.
Lochlan thinks for a moment. And then what did he do?
He apologized.
And?
I left.
Loch puts his arm around me and pulls me in close. He's going to try all sorts of approaches now to keep in your good graces. Run your own show, Peanut.
I nod. I don't know if that means actually run my own show or let Loch run my show but it's late and I'm done thinking about anything save for colorful horses and the fact that tonight, we're all home and the gate is closed and it's my favorite moment of all when that happens.
