Revelation 1:19 Write down what you have seen--both the things that are now happening and the things that will happen.Jake said that once, asking what kind of writer I was. Then he quoted that bible verse but I didn't understand. I write fiction, I told him.
Maybe someday you'll write the truth. He smiled, convinced.
Control is back. No plates thrown in twenty-four hours. Got my medal from Ben, who told me to stay close. Sitting in the basement behind two locked doors with laptop and headphones doing nothing at all except remaining calm. Listening to outlaw music. Every now and again Ben comes over, gives the chair a gentle twist before walking away again. The chair slowly spins itself out and then spins back in before slowing to a gentle rock.
It's glorious.
I have a cold cup of coffee that PJ made for me tucked between my ankles. Lotus position.
Somehow a song by Shooter Jennings became my favorite after an episode of Sons of Anarchy left me scrambling for my phone to press the big orange Soundhound button to find who in the hell was singing over the action.
So glorious.
Keith brought home a bike and a girl last night. The bike stayed but the girl left because she doesn't live here, and neither does he. I like the bike. I gave it a nice place in the garage where Jake can look after it.
Jake isn't there, beautiful. August says it so slowly with his Newfie accent garbling up the consonants, grinding them smooth and I smile bitterly. My smiles grows wider until I look fully crazy. May as well call this ace a spade.
Black remains the color of choice. Corset under one hundred tiny buttons today. Full metal jacket. Squeeze my heart until it bleeds and then mop up that blood with your concern and wring it out with every ounce of your pity. I'll be just fine, just give me a minute to listen to this song one more time before they figure it out that I'm drowning in it and take it away.
But really this isn't so bad. I've learned that home is where the boys are. That's my revelation, thinking back to dancing on a hot summer night while they quietly competed with each other to see who would join me. So bring on the end of the world, I think I'm ready.