Three forty-five and I'm tracing the B in DIABHAL on his back while he sleeps, facedown in dreams. I can't cover the whole letter with my hand flat, that's how big the word is hammered into his flesh drop by drop with permanent ink so he never forgets who he is to me. The letters are half solid, half filigree, so ornate if you didn't know what it said you'd be hard-pressed to read it outright. It's a beautiful piece, making up for such an ugly event that we relive over and over again.
In contrast, my neamhchiontach tattoo contains two of the letter C. One for Caleb, one for Cole. It's tattooed across the top of my back in Caleb's handwriting, freakishly neat and flourished in a masculine yet beautiful way. It had to be his hand that wrote it. That was part of the deal.
His dream must be good. Usually if I wake up, he wakes up, if he even sleeps at all.
*
Five forty-five and he has turned but not acknowledged me in his sleep as I quietly dress and let myself out. When I make it to the bottom of the steps there is a bear in the driveway.
Not a big one, but big enough. Maybe three years old. Probably a hundred and fifty pounds.
I'm not allowed to dance with you, I whispered and he stopped and looked in my direction, sniffing the air.
It took a step and waited for instructions. If it wasn't going to be a dance, then what? What are you out here for in a night that belongs to all the things that can destroy you? the bear said to me.
It's daylight now. Nothing can hurt me, I told it as Caleb picked me up right off the ground so violently I lost my breath, rushing us both back up the steps and into the house, locking the door, choking on adrenaline. In the dark my estimate of a hundred and fifty pounds was off by double or more, I found out later.
*
Seven forty-five and I watch as the boys fan out across the property in search of the bear itself and then the breach in our supposedly well-fortified fence efforts.
The gate was open between the stone walls on the way across to Daniel and Schuyler's. Daniel couldn't manage it with his crutches on the way back last evening. He was rife with dread and apologetic to a fault.
Dan. We said. Stop it. The bear would have climbed the walls had he not walked right through.
But still.
Plans were drawn up for new self-closing hardware on all the gates and a top rail drilled into the stone to make things even less appealing. There is a trap on the road up the street from our gates. This is a nuisance bear and has been in other yards already.
And we have a fortress now, moreso than ever.
Lochlan's arms closed around my neck from behind me as I stood watching the sudden frenzy of work, still a little dazed that I could have reached out to pet something that would have killed me.
Twice in the same night.
