Caleb told me we had a thing today, but not a meeting, that I was to wear a pretty dress and heels and plan to spend the afternoon with him. He met me at the door, dressed in one of his nicest sport jackets, shirt unbuttoned at the neck. No tie.
Where are we going? To eat?
It's a surprise.
So off we went in his car. To the movies. In the middle of the afternoon on a Thursday because I'm not sure I've ever been to a movie theatre with Caleb so the timing wasn't the surprising part.
Oh my Jesus. Fifty Shades of Grey.
It was us and then a small group of breathy, giggly women in the back, who stared at Caleb like he was meat and they were starving and he gave them exactly what they wanted by smiling tightly-politely and gripping my upper arm with his fist as he pulled me toward a seat many rows below them.
He got me settled, went out for popcorn and bottled water and just as he came back it was starting.
During the whole thing he kept leaning over, comparing things.
I should get a helicopter. Should I get a helicopter?
No, Diabhal. Shhh. Watch the movie.
A glider, maybe?
No. Shhhhh.
I need a playroom. That's what I need.
I just glared at him and finally he elbowed me and said, Neamhchiontach. Watch the movie.
Fifteen minutes later he says, Who the heck cuts her bangs?
Then he says to himself, Probably Lochlan.
Then he laughed.
And I glared some more.
Neamhchiontach.
WHAT?
This is what I'm going to do to you later.
Like hell you are.
Grey's a lightweight. I don't need contracts.
He's a billionaire. Oh, and I don't know if you noticed, he's also FICTIONAL.
Shhhh. Watch the movie.
When we returned home he pulled the car right around to the side door to let me out (it was raining) and I turned and said Don't even think about saying it-
What?
Laters, Baby.
Naw, see, I was hoping you'd say it to me. As usual, you played right into my hands. And as usual, that's exactly where you'll be soon enough.
