He pulled the hoodie down over my head roughly, still vaguely angry that I failed to remember to bring a sweater. I was in a rush. He made no move to pull my hair out from underneath it. I never did if I knew I would be on the rides. I couldn't stand ponytails and if I braided it it just became kinked-up later and so instead I left it tucked into my shirts and jackets virtually all of the time.
Warmer?
Yes. Thank you.
Good.
Lochlan kissed my forehead and then grabbed my hand, pulling me up the ramp and then stopping and waiting for me to climb into the basket first. I did and he paused, pulling out his little camera and telling me to say cheese. He snapped the picture and then he piled in against me, putting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me in close to him as the bar was secured in front of us. A little thrill ran through me. This was one of my rewards at the end of every evening. The wheel was kept open an extra twenty minutes so that I could have one private ride. So I could enjoy the stars and the weightless drop without being surrounded by crowds. I always had an hour to spare before Cole picked me up.
The wheel creaked forward. Three times backwards, five times forwards and then three times backwards again. I never counted anymore so that I wouldn't have the looming disappointment of knowing it was coming to an end. I never closed my eyes until at least the third trip around the wheel and I never let go of the front of Lochlan's shirt, holding on for dear life as I had every year for five years running because the very top of the wheel never ceased to scare me just a little even though I watched them put it together. I watched the inspections every morning and I trusted these boys with my life.
It stopped when we were right at the top. I knew I had about one minute to take in the stars before it would start up again.
Make a wish, Bridget.
(silence)
Did you? In time? Want me to ask for another stop?
I got it. I'm good.
What did you wish for?
If I tell you it will never happen.
Sure it will, once the wish is loose it comes true.
I wish I could do this every night for the rest of my life.
He squeezed me. Me too.
When we got to the bottom again I asked Lochlan if I could have the picture he took. He shook his head and laughed.
Maybe I can have a copy made for you. Besides, why would you want a picture of yourself?
So I can remember this.
I'll make sure to frame it and always keep it where you can see it whenever you want.
Promise?
I promise.
Cole was waiting in the parking lot when we got off. I walked through the gates, got into his car and we drove away. Lochlan went back to the camper. I would see him tomorrow morning again, so I hardly ever said goodnight. Years later he would tell me that really bothered him, that I never said it.
It still bothers him now, if I forget.
It bothers me that I was right about my wishes.
