The most interesting part of all of this is that Jacob fought tooth and nail to keep me, to keep (almost) all of us away from Caleb. No information, no access, no weak points in the keep through which the devil might wind.
Save for Ben. Ben would not listen. Ben went against everyone's better advice and most fervent wishes and struck up a close friendship with Caleb, maybe in an effort to hold on to Cole, because Ben and Cole were so close.
And now the devil runs the entire circus, and his right hand man got the girl. The devil controls the girl and the devil is responsible for and personally involved in every last nuance of our lives.
Which is why he is now downstairs in the dining room reading the local paper with a disapproving frown on his handsome face, shooting his cuffs like they are weapons to deploy charm and sophistication and remarking that I really need to get a grip, he could have sent some of the boys overseas, where the action is, instead of keeping them in the country.
All of these random, composed points softened from threats while he evaluates whether my dress is to his taste, if I am too thin and how tired I look after a night with Daniel because he's as close to Ben as I can be right now
After Jake flew I sold the circus to Caleb.
I got tired of fighting, tired of running and I have one hell of a self-destructive streak that lets me spend time with him without even caring if he sets me on fire or locks me in my own head for days. Jacob had been losing the fight anyway and in the end the devil pushed him off the sky. I'm not dumb, I know he did it, I know Caleb was the straw that broke the preacher's back.
They say to keep your enemies closer and I'm trying to do that now and the weirdest part of today was not the oddly extreme meltdown as Daniel was going through the gate or the fact that not thirty seconds after I got home Caleb was on his way because Mike took one look at me and called him, but it was the exchange Caleb and I had when he arrived. Civilized, appropriate and normal and downright weird by our standards, which are completely out to lunch.
Did you get the things you needed?
Yes, he's good for the next few months, maybe into summer.
What size is Henry? I can have some things sent.
It's not necessary. He's in 14/16s now, the next step is the men's department.
Are you serious?
Yes.
What size do most eight year olds wear?
7/8, though Ruthie was in 5/6s then. It depends on the child, really.
But fourteen? Jesus.
You've seen him. He's a big kid.
Is there something in the water here, princess?
If there was, I would drink more of it, don't you think?
I'm wondering how long he's going to sit down there and pretend everything is fine. Wait, nevermind. I don't think I care.
Jacob, I wish you would fix this. I think I screwed up big time here.
