Lochlan has a huge project right now that is keeping him from the usual routine of throwing fire and flipping tables. Schuyler is a taskmaster and keeps wrapping him up in these huge things with nice payouts and while they do keep Loch out of trouble I miss him something fierce. So when he came home very late last night we ordered a pizza and took some cheap wine out on the balcony and sat and stared at each other while we chewed our food.
He cut his hair because it was driving him crazy in the heat. His curls just get flatter as his hair gets longer and so now he's back to his wavy mess but he looks good.
You're not going, Peanut.
Of course I'm not.
He'll talk you into it.
If you think I'm going to a place where they arrest people for holding hands in public you're mistaken.
If you think you can outwit the devil you're naive.
Make the wall, then, and defend. I won't go and he can't force the issue against all of you.
That's true.
So let's change the subject because I will be safe.
Okay, what would you like to do? Did you want to watch a movie or something?
I raise my eyebrows and drain my wine without a word.
Oh, I see.
What do you see?
I see you're wearing too many clothes and I haven't touched you all day.
Right on both. Can we fix this?
We can fix this.
Wednesday 20 August 2014
Tuesday 19 August 2014
Yawns aren't contagious and that's how I know he's Satan.
(It's not even eight in the morning so this won't be arranged the way I like it but I rounded up my hourly rate for the Devil for my assistant services and he didn't even bat an eye so here the fuck I am. We've hit mid five figures. This makes me laugh. I don't even know what I've gotten myself into anymore that he pays me so much for doing stupid things he could hire a service to do for fifty bucks. Especially since I wind up giving it all back to him in rent and putting what the boys give me toward their share into certificates that they can cash in later, with interest. I'm nice like that. I try to look after them too because they look after me. And that is all above board and has nothing to do with sex, since fully a third of my readers have decided I must be sleeping with everyone. Christ, people. I would have been worn clear through years ago.)
Caleb uses work as an excuse to chip away at my resolve when I'm angry with him. I get easily distracted in the details and drop my guard every. single. time. We only seem to be at DEFCON 3 today though. He's being Charming. I'm being Distrustful. We're using our Words. This Sucks.
I am terrified of revolving doors and won't walk through one alone.
Converting dirhams to dollars is pretty easy and surprisingly cheap, making this trip I'm trying to finalize for Caleb to Dubai in November much less painful than I expected it would be. The Atlantis? Check. Races? Check. Dolphins? Check. Driver? Check. Bridget? Not on your life.
Cookies before ten in the morning? Gross. Not what I meant by breakfast pastries.
Headache? Check.
Coffee? Where? It hasn't been delivered yet.
Idiot wasn't ready when I arrived either. Also well planned. He's possibly the only boss that can spend the first quarter of a workday in nothing but a towel and not get sued for it.
I really have no patience for this today.
He just offered to reformat his Dubai meetings to Sydney if I wanted to go there instead and doesn't get that I'm not leaving the continent with him. Also, you know, I JUST FINISHED booking everything.
Since he slipped that I technically have to sign nothing, I'm back to actually not signing anything and it's nice to just say no.
I do love planning his trips though. Maybe I should have been a travel agent but close enough, I'm a dreamer.
Oh look, fucker can do something. He's ordering a rush breakfast. Finally.
I hate this office. But he hates working from the boathouse so once he was dressed we moved.
I hate my dress too. Maybe light wool before ten in the morning is also gross. So are these shoes. His dress code for work is misogynistic beyond the pale. I should be home in my cutoffs and my Breaking Benjamin tank top. I hear rumors of new music. All the Bens are spooling up at once here.
And the screen on my phone now displays a message from Lochlan. He's so sweet.
It says,
GET
YOUR
ASS
HOME
NOW
It's so nice to be wanted. He's up early though. I feel like a tug of war. I feel like a loser. I feel like crawling out of this dress backwards and walking down West Georgia naked sipping on a pitcher full of coffee. I wonder how far I would get? That would be something. Something better than this.
But not right now, because I forgot to block the meeting rooms for the trip. Shit.
Caleb uses work as an excuse to chip away at my resolve when I'm angry with him. I get easily distracted in the details and drop my guard every. single. time. We only seem to be at DEFCON 3 today though. He's being Charming. I'm being Distrustful. We're using our Words. This Sucks.
I am terrified of revolving doors and won't walk through one alone.
Converting dirhams to dollars is pretty easy and surprisingly cheap, making this trip I'm trying to finalize for Caleb to Dubai in November much less painful than I expected it would be. The Atlantis? Check. Races? Check. Dolphins? Check. Driver? Check. Bridget? Not on your life.
Cookies before ten in the morning? Gross. Not what I meant by breakfast pastries.
Headache? Check.
Coffee? Where? It hasn't been delivered yet.
Idiot wasn't ready when I arrived either. Also well planned. He's possibly the only boss that can spend the first quarter of a workday in nothing but a towel and not get sued for it.
I really have no patience for this today.
He just offered to reformat his Dubai meetings to Sydney if I wanted to go there instead and doesn't get that I'm not leaving the continent with him. Also, you know, I JUST FINISHED booking everything.
Since he slipped that I technically have to sign nothing, I'm back to actually not signing anything and it's nice to just say no.
I do love planning his trips though. Maybe I should have been a travel agent but close enough, I'm a dreamer.
Oh look, fucker can do something. He's ordering a rush breakfast. Finally.
I hate this office. But he hates working from the boathouse so once he was dressed we moved.
I hate my dress too. Maybe light wool before ten in the morning is also gross. So are these shoes. His dress code for work is misogynistic beyond the pale. I should be home in my cutoffs and my Breaking Benjamin tank top. I hear rumors of new music. All the Bens are spooling up at once here.
And the screen on my phone now displays a message from Lochlan. He's so sweet.
It says,
GET
YOUR
ASS
HOME
NOW
It's so nice to be wanted. He's up early though. I feel like a tug of war. I feel like a loser. I feel like crawling out of this dress backwards and walking down West Georgia naked sipping on a pitcher full of coffee. I wonder how far I would get? That would be something. Something better than this.
But not right now, because I forgot to block the meeting rooms for the trip. Shit.
Monday 18 August 2014
World domination on a preteen maturity level.
I remain sweetly satisfied that I gave that horse a beautiful place to finish out her days and am incredibly grateful to Ben for his efforts in dealing with this as quickly as he could. He found her on the ground in her stall (said he wouldn't fall for her and he lied, they all lied and spent more time with her than I did) and the first thing he did was text PJ and tell him not to let me out. PJ then invited Joel over to be flayed alive. Two birds, one stone, they figured. PJ and Ben are quite the productive duo when it comes managing me and while I am blissfully ignorant of fully half of the efforts they put in, I appreciate the full hundred percent.
The boys called the vet, arranged for the haulers and also cleaned the stables once Aurora was removed. Ben himself moved all my art supplies back into the stables once the floors were dry and said we really have enough to deal with around here without having to nurture end of life animals larger than him.
So my plan to create a hospice for horses is not going to fly but that's okay. I like the art studio. Besides, most of my plans get vetoed anyway.
For example:
Let's paint the house black! Like the old one. It'll be great.
Let's set up a trapeze at the edge of the yard.
No? Okay, maybe just a bungy jump. Dip your head in the sea.
Let's buy the other eight houses up the road and block the highway exit to the neighborhood and NEVER EVER LEAVE.
Let's all fly to Australia but just for the day because bugs. Big freaking bugs. I couldn't sleep there.
Let's shave Daniel's head but only on each side and leave the middle for a foot-tall mohawk which would be a great way to relive the 90s when Daniel had to duck to get through doorways.
Let's go eat somewhere weird for dinner. I don't mean A&W. (The A&Ws here ARE weird, for the record)
Let's put two entire bags of chocolate chips in this recipe instead of two cups.
Let's have a horror movie marathon and eat saaaaaaalsa and grapes but call them guts and eyeballs.
Let's stay on the octopus until we throw up.
Etc. etc. No one listens to me. Would you? The only person who forces my adult side is the devil and that doesn't seem to be working any better. It's fine, I don't actually want to discuss that today anyway.
I have today to relax and unclench and drink coffee out front with Matt and Andrew (Andrew is officially on duty in case I crash) and then maybe later I'll paint. Lochlan is working and Ben is working and PJ is still asleep! At eleven in the morning! Because what a lazy fuck!
Maybe I should be PJ when I grow up.
I would totally do it just for the beard. Oh WAIT! Peeing standing up! I'm game. Bring it on.
The boys called the vet, arranged for the haulers and also cleaned the stables once Aurora was removed. Ben himself moved all my art supplies back into the stables once the floors were dry and said we really have enough to deal with around here without having to nurture end of life animals larger than him.
So my plan to create a hospice for horses is not going to fly but that's okay. I like the art studio. Besides, most of my plans get vetoed anyway.
For example:
Let's paint the house black! Like the old one. It'll be great.
Let's set up a trapeze at the edge of the yard.
No? Okay, maybe just a bungy jump. Dip your head in the sea.
Let's buy the other eight houses up the road and block the highway exit to the neighborhood and NEVER EVER LEAVE.
Let's all fly to Australia but just for the day because bugs. Big freaking bugs. I couldn't sleep there.
Let's shave Daniel's head but only on each side and leave the middle for a foot-tall mohawk which would be a great way to relive the 90s when Daniel had to duck to get through doorways.
Let's go eat somewhere weird for dinner. I don't mean A&W. (The A&Ws here ARE weird, for the record)
Let's put two entire bags of chocolate chips in this recipe instead of two cups.
Let's have a horror movie marathon and eat saaaaaaalsa and grapes but call them guts and eyeballs.
Let's stay on the octopus until we throw up.
Etc. etc. No one listens to me. Would you? The only person who forces my adult side is the devil and that doesn't seem to be working any better. It's fine, I don't actually want to discuss that today anyway.
I have today to relax and unclench and drink coffee out front with Matt and Andrew (Andrew is officially on duty in case I crash) and then maybe later I'll paint. Lochlan is working and Ben is working and PJ is still asleep! At eleven in the morning! Because what a lazy fuck!
Maybe I should be PJ when I grow up.
I would totally do it just for the beard. Oh WAIT! Peeing standing up! I'm game. Bring it on.
Sunday 17 August 2014
The ridiculous spot between alright and okay.
Destabilized as always yet I am the glue holding this family together with paper-thin wishes and stuttering lights.
It can always be worse. The horse is dying. The Devil? Dying. Lochlan is dying of frustration and Ben will kill himself with work. The rest will languish fearfully for me and myself? Well, I've already told you how I'll go and I'm still almost convinced I will fly off the cliff and drown quickly in the sea but it won't be because I jump. I'm not Jacob and I no longer have the courage to step off platforms hoping for the net.
(Nets aren't real.)
They never actually catch anyone because I don't think anyone ever wants to be saved.
John told me not to go out to the stables for the time being. That the vet is coming back. That they'll make sure everything is taken care of. I know. I called the hauler number myself. They're on standby.
Caleb told Lochlan that it's only a matter of time and that pressure has already cracked me and that he can seep in now and Lochlan is so powerless he's a dandelion blown against the wind.
Loch dug in his heels and refused to concede anything because a promise is a promise and once renewed is stronger than ever. There won't be any big shifts and Loch gambles on Caleb's death being next even as we watch Aurora from a respectful distance.
Because it isn't nice to live with pain. It isn't nice to be in pain and it isn't nice to never have relief from that pain. Funny how it's so pragmatic for a horse and such a blooming tragedy for a human. How long do we suffer? Why do you get to decide how long is long enough when you damn well the answer is forever.
Deep breaths, Bridget. Deeper still.
Joel came and tried to apologize. Tried to dismiss, tried to excuse, tried to repent and I sat silently staring through the glass into the woods and he touched my hand and I flinched and PJ jumped to his feet and Joel had the nerve to ask him if he could leave and PJ said nope and then asked me if I wanted Joel to leave and I didn't answer him either. I just kept watching for bears and for lights eventually as they flickered on one by one, powered by the sun, programmed to come on as the sun dropped below my horizon, as the bottom fell out of my universe and I found myself floating in space again, pinned to one of Saturn's rings securely, hanging by my hems.
It's dark and lovely and quiet now and Joel's voice has disappeared. PJ is no longer there and I open my eyes and find Ben staring down at me. I raise my eyes and Loch stands by the window, staring into my woods. He names the lights, the stars, the planets for me and I commit them to memory that we will strengthen with the glue made of time in our endless late summer when all the things we thought would come together mostly fall apart.
Ben smiles gently and tells me he heard I fell asleep midsentence and that doesn't happen so often and I reach up to touch his cheek.
Tired, I tell him and he nods. Close your eyes, Bee. We won't let the wolves get you.
But everyone's a wolf, I promise and I'm in the dark again, where Loch unpins me from the ring and throws me clear into the sun.
It can always be worse. The horse is dying. The Devil? Dying. Lochlan is dying of frustration and Ben will kill himself with work. The rest will languish fearfully for me and myself? Well, I've already told you how I'll go and I'm still almost convinced I will fly off the cliff and drown quickly in the sea but it won't be because I jump. I'm not Jacob and I no longer have the courage to step off platforms hoping for the net.
(Nets aren't real.)
They never actually catch anyone because I don't think anyone ever wants to be saved.
John told me not to go out to the stables for the time being. That the vet is coming back. That they'll make sure everything is taken care of. I know. I called the hauler number myself. They're on standby.
Caleb told Lochlan that it's only a matter of time and that pressure has already cracked me and that he can seep in now and Lochlan is so powerless he's a dandelion blown against the wind.
Loch dug in his heels and refused to concede anything because a promise is a promise and once renewed is stronger than ever. There won't be any big shifts and Loch gambles on Caleb's death being next even as we watch Aurora from a respectful distance.
Because it isn't nice to live with pain. It isn't nice to be in pain and it isn't nice to never have relief from that pain. Funny how it's so pragmatic for a horse and such a blooming tragedy for a human. How long do we suffer? Why do you get to decide how long is long enough when you damn well the answer is forever.
Deep breaths, Bridget. Deeper still.
Joel came and tried to apologize. Tried to dismiss, tried to excuse, tried to repent and I sat silently staring through the glass into the woods and he touched my hand and I flinched and PJ jumped to his feet and Joel had the nerve to ask him if he could leave and PJ said nope and then asked me if I wanted Joel to leave and I didn't answer him either. I just kept watching for bears and for lights eventually as they flickered on one by one, powered by the sun, programmed to come on as the sun dropped below my horizon, as the bottom fell out of my universe and I found myself floating in space again, pinned to one of Saturn's rings securely, hanging by my hems.
It's dark and lovely and quiet now and Joel's voice has disappeared. PJ is no longer there and I open my eyes and find Ben staring down at me. I raise my eyes and Loch stands by the window, staring into my woods. He names the lights, the stars, the planets for me and I commit them to memory that we will strengthen with the glue made of time in our endless late summer when all the things we thought would come together mostly fall apart.
Ben smiles gently and tells me he heard I fell asleep midsentence and that doesn't happen so often and I reach up to touch his cheek.
Tired, I tell him and he nods. Close your eyes, Bee. We won't let the wolves get you.
But everyone's a wolf, I promise and I'm in the dark again, where Loch unpins me from the ring and throws me clear into the sun.
Saturday 16 August 2014
Shape-shifting dates and comfort boys.
Forty-five days of sobriety and I catch Duncan sneaking in the front door this morning. He looks fucking thrilled and tired but sober and I grin in spite of myself.
Great. Probably the very last person I wanted to see first.
Wow. Let me go get my phone so I can document your walk of shame here, Poet.
It might be a rare thing, better do it quick, Bee.
That good, huh?
I expect girls to be mostly different and usually taller versions of you but instead they're all dripping with makeup and hairspray and questions that seem to lead to whether or not I can marry them tomorrow and buy them trips.
Where did you meet her?
One of the AA guys had a sister. She's in recovery a few years. Has her shit together okay but just..trussed up like a fucking peacock.
But you...managed.
I did. Then when the sun came up I got the hell out of there because I didn't want to see what she'd morph into in the daylight without all of her decorations and...and....I just realized this is destroying my mythical reputation as a lizard king if I tell you this stuff.
What, that you're afraid of cosmetics?
Basically.
I won't tell anyone.
They already know. I have no need to impress them. I was still hoping to be the cool one around here in your eyes though now that the dust has settled.
Did the dust settle? You haven't spoken to me in ages, Duncan.
He scratches the back of his neck and looks so sheepish I want to alternately nail him to the wall and let him off the hook. Bridge, I don't think I want to add any more drama to your life. Caleb seems content to look after that. I also don't want this to be weird. Let's just pretend we're the same as ever.
Unrequited?
It's good enough. I miss you, Bridge. I'm trying to get my shit together again, if you can forgive me for everything.
I'm sorry I make things hard for you.
Oh, God. See? There you go with those words of yours.
I realize my double entendre and burst out laughing. He laughs and rubs his eyes wearily. PJ walks in and smiles when he sees we can't keep it together but we are together at last.
What did I miss?
She don't hate me, Bro.
Sweet times, Brother. But I knew that already.
Can I have a hug then, Duncan? It's been a while. (I reach up for him without waiting for his answer.)
Yeah it's been a while. Come here. You're going to need an extra pair of arms when that skeleton of a horse drops out in the driveway anyway.
Wow, thanks.
Oh, Poemgirl, it's going to happen any minute now. Sometimes the Devil is right, you know. You can't save anything else until you've saved yourself. I'm learning it, too.
Great. Probably the very last person I wanted to see first.
Wow. Let me go get my phone so I can document your walk of shame here, Poet.
It might be a rare thing, better do it quick, Bee.
That good, huh?
I expect girls to be mostly different and usually taller versions of you but instead they're all dripping with makeup and hairspray and questions that seem to lead to whether or not I can marry them tomorrow and buy them trips.
Where did you meet her?
One of the AA guys had a sister. She's in recovery a few years. Has her shit together okay but just..trussed up like a fucking peacock.
But you...managed.
I did. Then when the sun came up I got the hell out of there because I didn't want to see what she'd morph into in the daylight without all of her decorations and...and....I just realized this is destroying my mythical reputation as a lizard king if I tell you this stuff.
What, that you're afraid of cosmetics?
Basically.
I won't tell anyone.
They already know. I have no need to impress them. I was still hoping to be the cool one around here in your eyes though now that the dust has settled.
Did the dust settle? You haven't spoken to me in ages, Duncan.
He scratches the back of his neck and looks so sheepish I want to alternately nail him to the wall and let him off the hook. Bridge, I don't think I want to add any more drama to your life. Caleb seems content to look after that. I also don't want this to be weird. Let's just pretend we're the same as ever.
Unrequited?
It's good enough. I miss you, Bridge. I'm trying to get my shit together again, if you can forgive me for everything.
I'm sorry I make things hard for you.
Oh, God. See? There you go with those words of yours.
I realize my double entendre and burst out laughing. He laughs and rubs his eyes wearily. PJ walks in and smiles when he sees we can't keep it together but we are together at last.
What did I miss?
She don't hate me, Bro.
Sweet times, Brother. But I knew that already.
Can I have a hug then, Duncan? It's been a while. (I reach up for him without waiting for his answer.)
Yeah it's been a while. Come here. You're going to need an extra pair of arms when that skeleton of a horse drops out in the driveway anyway.
Wow, thanks.
Oh, Poemgirl, it's going to happen any minute now. Sometimes the Devil is right, you know. You can't save anything else until you've saved yourself. I'm learning it, too.
Friday 15 August 2014
Threats to nowhere.
Can you please make him leave now that you've got what you paid for?
Bridget, you need to learn to coexist with your critics.
He isn't a critic, he's a fraud and since I don't plan on ever speaking to him again you'll be wasting your time keeping him in your corner.
I only want you in my corner.
Tough shit.
It is, surprisingly. But you're doing great and I want to see this continue instead of the endless backsliding.
Then take me off guardianship. And leave all of this to Ben because he's done more for me than any of you ever have.
Demonstrate actual change. And Ben has the weakest character of all.
I've been running your stupid shit for a year now. If that doesn't qualify me as independent I don't know what does. And say one more disparaging thing about Ben and I'm gone.
I cosign everything you do. And Ben admits his flaws freely. I admire him in case you think otherwise.
So stop signing.
It's my money.
I thought it was my money.
It's for you.
Well then take it all back and I'm not signing another thing.
Then you'll never be free, as you put it. If you don't continue to make progress with me then I can never approve the removal of those orders.
It's been six fucking years!
And you're still talking to ghosts and running off and fucking things up every chance you get.
I don't know how to do anything different.
I am teaching you!
No, you're not! You're only making things worse!
It's better to keep things the way they are with regard to our legal arrangements.
Then I'm clearly too young for you if I'm a child in the eyes of your system.
You always were. Do you think that ever stopped me? You're missing the point, Bridget. You're not well, You probably never will be. I love to watch you test your limits and muster your courage. I like to watch you pretend in front of me because I know at any second I can rip away your transparent little facade and see my girl. At any second.
Then you just contradicted yourself.
I don't really care.
Well I do.
Then tell someone who can help you. Maybe Batman is up for the challenge. Oh, wait, he didn't turn out to be as helpful as you had hoped, now, did he?
I don't need his help.
Well, Pyro certainly isn't going to help you change. You think I like to keep you young and helpless? Where the hell do you think I got the idea from?
You don't disparage him either.
I can do whatever I want, Princess, in case you hadn't noticed.
Bridget, you need to learn to coexist with your critics.
He isn't a critic, he's a fraud and since I don't plan on ever speaking to him again you'll be wasting your time keeping him in your corner.
I only want you in my corner.
Tough shit.
It is, surprisingly. But you're doing great and I want to see this continue instead of the endless backsliding.
Then take me off guardianship. And leave all of this to Ben because he's done more for me than any of you ever have.
Demonstrate actual change. And Ben has the weakest character of all.
I've been running your stupid shit for a year now. If that doesn't qualify me as independent I don't know what does. And say one more disparaging thing about Ben and I'm gone.
I cosign everything you do. And Ben admits his flaws freely. I admire him in case you think otherwise.
So stop signing.
It's my money.
I thought it was my money.
It's for you.
Well then take it all back and I'm not signing another thing.
Then you'll never be free, as you put it. If you don't continue to make progress with me then I can never approve the removal of those orders.
It's been six fucking years!
And you're still talking to ghosts and running off and fucking things up every chance you get.
I don't know how to do anything different.
I am teaching you!
No, you're not! You're only making things worse!
It's better to keep things the way they are with regard to our legal arrangements.
Then I'm clearly too young for you if I'm a child in the eyes of your system.
You always were. Do you think that ever stopped me? You're missing the point, Bridget. You're not well, You probably never will be. I love to watch you test your limits and muster your courage. I like to watch you pretend in front of me because I know at any second I can rip away your transparent little facade and see my girl. At any second.
Then you just contradicted yourself.
I don't really care.
Well I do.
Then tell someone who can help you. Maybe Batman is up for the challenge. Oh, wait, he didn't turn out to be as helpful as you had hoped, now, did he?
I don't need his help.
Well, Pyro certainly isn't going to help you change. You think I like to keep you young and helpless? Where the hell do you think I got the idea from?
You don't disparage him either.
I can do whatever I want, Princess, in case you hadn't noticed.
Thursday 14 August 2014
Pedal backwards.
While I was off eating Cartem's and walking a techy floor show yesterday Joel was presenting Caleb with his notes on me. A followup, if you will, six years late. A condemning account of how I'm doing well but it's all a front, fake and put in place because I am spoiled and coddled and protected.
Oh, I didn't realize I was supposed to be drafted to the wolves, but he says I am enabled to within an inch of my life and that Caleb is possibly the worst offender, furnishing me with all my heart's desires save for..you know, anything I've actually asked him for. Not sure I get that part but Joel seems to take special offence to the power Caleb gives me with his money and with my own in the form of the credit card.
He also took offence to Ben's generosity and said I was being set up to have my heart broken again.
Last time I checked, that was called living. If you take the leap you take a chance and you might end up okay but apparently I should be alone, working to provide for myself and getting regular heavy counseling because that's the healthy way. Instead I made a commune, threw myself into a plural marriage and take too many fucking risks!
Because YOLO.
Because dammit, Joel, you aren't qualified to judge me.
Besides, I'm still under limited guardianship, if you want to be purely technical here. I'm shared three ways legally between PJ, Caleb and Lochlan. And I don't frankly care if the greater world sees me as a fully functioning six-year-old. The greater world never did anything but pay money to stare anyway.
Oh, I didn't realize I was supposed to be drafted to the wolves, but he says I am enabled to within an inch of my life and that Caleb is possibly the worst offender, furnishing me with all my heart's desires save for..you know, anything I've actually asked him for. Not sure I get that part but Joel seems to take special offence to the power Caleb gives me with his money and with my own in the form of the credit card.
He also took offence to Ben's generosity and said I was being set up to have my heart broken again.
Last time I checked, that was called living. If you take the leap you take a chance and you might end up okay but apparently I should be alone, working to provide for myself and getting regular heavy counseling because that's the healthy way. Instead I made a commune, threw myself into a plural marriage and take too many fucking risks!
Because YOLO.
Because dammit, Joel, you aren't qualified to judge me.
Besides, I'm still under limited guardianship, if you want to be purely technical here. I'm shared three ways legally between PJ, Caleb and Lochlan. And I don't frankly care if the greater world sees me as a fully functioning six-year-old. The greater world never did anything but pay money to stare anyway.
Wednesday 13 August 2014
Special Interest Group on Computer Graphics And Interactive Techniques Conference swag.
There's a mouthful, but sometimes I get to go to some mighty interesting things. Today I got my first walking teapot from Pixar! Also seventy billion pins, some of which are storm troopers! I'm very popular at home right now. HUZZAH.
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