Lochlan stirred my oatmeal this morning, alternating a splash of hot water with a few circles of the spoon until it was the way I like it. Solid but not dry. I don't like soupy oatmeal. He makes it perfectly. Which is good considering he won't let me make it in case I burn myself. Ruth and Henry have been making their own oatmeal for a decade.
Where is he?
Don't worry about it, Bridgie.
Working as a proxy and a partner for Batman, who is on his way home as we speak, Lochlan went and disposed of New Jake, who admitted under God knows what sort of duress, that when Batman is away, Jake quietly stalks me. I think Jake figured they would help him if he owned up to it right away. His mistake. Had he made up some shit about coming over and then hesitating when he saw my car not start, thinking I would think I was being saved preemptively they would have stood down but he didn't do that and now he's gone.
I'm envisioning concrete shoes and an undercover of darkness heave into the sea from the wrong side of the cliff or maybe the Russians driving up and he is dispatched into their trunk and taken away and probably chopped into little pieces to be fed to their enemies.
Such a waste.
Stop it.
Hmmm?
We sent him back to where he came from.
We?
Collectively yes. We. He was a problem before yesterday. He didn't fit in anyway. Outsiders don't fit in.
Because we're incestuous.
Yes, that. And remember not every person is a good person, Bridgie.
Not every stranger is bad, either.
By default? Yes, they are.
He's probably safer than most supervillains.
I'll agree with you on that.
So what did you do with him?
Booked him a month's stay in a flat, bought him a plane ticket and told him his stuff will be with him in a week, bike included. His flight left an hour ago. He is not to contact you or come back under any circumstances.
Swift justice.
I'm not Jacob, Bridget. People don't get second chances on my watch.
I did. (I like to disarm them every chance I get. Don't you see that?)
He sits down heavily across from me with tears in his eyes.
Jesus, Peanut. Why do you have to start every day by bringing me to my knees?
