My sweater saved my life yesterday and other stupid stories I'm not going to tell you.

Well, did she make you cry
Make you break down
Shatter your illusions of love?
And is it over now
Do you know how
Pick up the pieces and go home?

Loch hung over the fence just before sunset and grabbed me by the hood. He got me going in a good hard swing and then with a shout he defied gravity, bringing me back over to the safe side once again. Then I got the usual routine of being backed up against a wall with his finger in my face, his harsh words in my ears and tears swimming in my own eyes as I bit my lip and tried to be brave while he demanded that if I'm insolent enough to break the rules then I'm brave enough to stand there and absolutely not cry to his fucking face while I get in trouble for it. No? Oh well, then DON'T DO IT AGAIN, OKAY? 

And I nodded even as he tried and failed to keep his whole face from cracking into a smile because he's not all that good at being parental to me anymore even as I'm absolutely awful at following rules and really that side of the yard is one of the few places with completely unspoiled beauty and no electric fences or obstructed views and so when I need to think very hard and I'm not allowed on the beach then why, yes, I will end up perched out on the very edge of the cliff with my back right up against the fence where there's no actual room to stand. If you saw it you'd be horrified. Even the fence posts are engineered to hook back in underneath about three feet back from where the fence sits proper. It's terrifying in places.

It's also liberating because I'm the only one small enough to fit on that side and sometimes I just need to pause the whole world and hop off and you'll know it when I do because your CD will skip, your video will buffer or you'll lose your train of thought. Sorry, sometimes it can't be helped.

But really, I'm fine. I just have to figure out how to reorder my stuff every time I drive over a bump in the road and all my things fly up into the air and every time that happens there's one less space to put everything when it all comes back down and I have to rearrange it. That's how Sam described it and it's perfect.