Friday, 30 January 2015

Taking usury.

He wants to make amends, asking me to try on one of the sets and show him the issue with the size. I come out and do a dizzying spin and Lochlan studies my hips.

I don't think he realizes how small you are. 

I shrug and play with the ruffles and he pulls me into his arms. He squeezes and lifts me up slightly. You haven't lost more than a pound or three from being sick. Maybe these can be altered a little. Then he lets go, standing me up in front of him, waiting until I meet his eyes. I'm sorry, Peanut. I'm sorry I tried to ruin something of yours, something you loved. He wisely stops there. There's no but. No I just. No if you knew. But the look in his eyes is pure Lochlan. Pure insolence. Defiance. Scorn for this position he finds himself in. Nothing's changed but he has to atone for it anyway. Funny how that works.

I get it. Can I keep them?

Why are you asking permission?

Because then it becomes about me and not about Diabhal. 

He shakes his head and then nods. Some formality. Some weird twist of irony here. Some exacting bittersweet exchange leaves this a victory for us instead of Caleb.


Ben laughed when he saw how loosely the butterscotch set hugs my frame.


I what?

You look a little bit like a potato skin. 

Aw fuck. Don't do it, Ben. 

I'm kind of hungry....


Okay, that tastes NOTHING like a potato skin. I stand corrected. You taste like a couch. 

You just don't appreciate the allure of fine lingerie. 

Delicious chesterfield. 

And ruffles. 

Tasty sofaaaaaaaaa.



Caleb takes far too long to evaluate me in the ruffles. I feel like I just walk into rooms now and drop the dress. This must be what supermodels feel like. Is this what tall feels like? No? I didn't think so.

I don't know where I went wrong. 

Did you guess my measurements? 

No, I used the same ones as I did for the dresses and they fit you perfectly. 

Yes but they are draped over places where I can't fill them in. So it doesn't matter if my butt is tiny a dress where the fabric falls straight it's going to be painfully obvious in something form-fitting.

What is the solution?

Try things on before buying them. 

How does this help me, Bridget? 

I will pin them and you can have them adjusted one final time. 

This is complicated. I wanted to treat you. 

You are. It's supposed to be worth it, though. 

He smiled and said it is. To see you so at ease in decadence makes everything worth it. Whether or not you ever admit it, this is the life you were born for. 

Naw. It's all an act. I'm a freak, remember?

Maybe, but everyone needs to be saved from something. 

I don't need to be saved. 

That's not the view from where I'm standing.