Little offhand life rules from a seventeen-year-old boy have annoyingly stuck in my brain, against his very best wishes now that he has grown up and knows better.
Never turn down a show, Peanut. The money will always come in handy.
So of course the Devil had an 'emergency' today and he kept adding to my executive assistant rate until I said I'd be there by eight. He said seven thirty and I said I was still in my pajamas.
That's fine, he said. Then he added another zero if I took them off and didn't replace them with actual clothes.
Fuck off, Diab.
I'll make it up to you with some KFC for lunch.
I'll take two more zeroes instead.
Does that word have that second e?
I don't know. It's seven in the morning, Caleb. Look it up.
You can do it when you get here. And don't eat. I'll make cheese toast and coffee. Oh and tell Pyro to have a nice day for me, would you?
I'll bring him with me. He can help me work.
Bring him and I take four zereos away.
Are those like Oreos but for losers?
I don't know. Ask Pyro.