Consider thisPretty sure that Caleb left this on the stereo on purpose when he went into the other room to take a call.
Consider this, the hint of the century
Consider this, the slip
That brought me to my knees, failed
What if all these fantasies come
Flailing around
Now I've said too much
Yup, pretty sure.
He already lit into me early on about how ridiculous this whole thing is.
What thing? I asked. Because I didn't sleep and I have no idea if he means the weather, the election or my master plan to turn the backyard into a huge vegetable garden.
This thing where Ben uses Lochlan and I and our collective history as a justification to keep you for himself.
Do we need to do this today?
Yes, maybe we fucking well should!
Then the phone rang so I had all kinds of time to process the swearing, the yelling and the pure unchecked frustration from someone who usually has his shit together better than the rest of us.
Just not today.
***
You said a bad word!
I can if I want. I'm an adult now. I'm Eighteen. I bet you're not allowed to swear yet, right, Bridget?
No not yet. Dad says when I'm eighteen I can say whatever I want.
Good idea. But if you don't want me to swear around you, I won't. I mean, you're only nine. You don't need to hear ugly words yet.
It's not that the words are ugly. I think they're kind of funny. But when you say them you sound so mean, Caleb.
Then I won't use them around you.
I shrug and continue trying to eat the candy apple that he brought me. I can't get my mouth open wide enough to get any of it and my face is covered with sticky red syrup.
Do you want me to cut that up for you?
Yes, please.
It's going to be strange when you grow up, Bridget. If you think about it, you're exactly half my age but someday you'll be closer in years to me. Like when I'm fifty, you'll be forty-one so we'll be almost the same.
You probably won't be around when you're that old. You'll forget you knew me. Thank you, I tell him as he passes me a slice of apple carefully, since his pocket knife is in the same hand.
You never know but I won't forget you. Maybe we'll still hang out.
That would be neat. I could cut your fruit for you because you'll be really old and have dentures or something.
Fuck, I hope not. Oh, sorry. I forgot to say something nicer.
Say fudge!
Fudge it is. Though it's going to sound weird in a minute when Loch gets here and I tell him to fudge off.
Then just leave him alone already! You guys fight over EVERYTHING.
No, just one thing.
What is it?
Someday you'll figure it out. When you're older.