Thursday 17 September 2009

Grip.

Wake up to the sounds of the century
They got a long way to go to gain on me
It's all right

The years are coming down like the dirty leaves
I'm gonna plant my seed in history
It's alright
I love my dream

Hold me in your arms
What a beautiful day. It's sunny and warm, the geese are flying south, honking in their nerdy, awkward way, the dog is freshly bathed and I had a blueberry muffin and some dark roast coffee this morning with plans to venture out later for another caramel macchiato because I really need that early to mid-afternoon boost and I don't know who I'm kidding to think that I don't. Otherwise I'm incredibly antisocial from around four onwards.

The house is clean. Spotlessly so. The kitchen is almost finished. Again. Everything is as organized as I can make it. I watered the garden and traded the fading flower baskets for windchimes and raked some of the leaves and weeded a little. I swept the garage out for the last time this year and I've got two loads of laundry here to fold.

Ben is home. Indefinitely. Lochlan is here. The unsung foreverman. All is well with Daniel and Schuy. The kids are healthy and beautiful and hate school already, if only for the drag of getting up and dressed and out of the house in the morning. I reminded them of snowpants and boots to come and what a drag the unshovelled sidewalks (do you hear me, neighbors?) are going to be soon enough. They felt better.

Sam is helpful. We are working on things. He's working on his things and I'm working on mine but we seem to work well together. Ben is working on his things with Seth and Nolan. Working hard because it's easier to do the work here than it is to do it out there. I might be getting my job back, because I loved getting dressed up and being efficient and making money for doing it. I was good at it. And Caleb, when he isn't blackmailing me or coveting me, is a good boss. If there could be a balance it could work and then everyone is close and I wouldn't need to chase text messages and keep detailed calendars nor would I have so much time to bounce around inside my head finding trouble to follow. Because trouble is in there, trust me. I know it's not a popular decision for me to go back and work for Satan, especially in light of the last two disasters, but here it is understood and that's the important part.

Back to work. Squee! On the upside? New fall dresses. Which is a double challenge because I hate shopping and because my favorite dress store closed up and vanished and in it's place, ironically, is a shop called Tall Girl, where they simply chuckled and shook their heads when I stood in the doorway the other day, about to go in and ask what happened to the other store.

Sigh. I will never be tall but I will be well-rested and well-caffeinated. And well-loved, as always.

Life can be awesome when you're not off hiding from it, fighting it and wishing it would just go away, you know that?

Well, I'm still learning it.

Patience, people.